The Hopes and Dreams
by Cloud-Dee
Summary: "You have failed destiny Arthur. And the price you pay will be a heavy one." When Arthur is told he will lose the one person who holds his and Camelot's hopes and dreams, he rushes to protect Gwen. No-one notices the look of despair in Merlin's eyes.
1. The Hopes and Dreams

The Hopes and Dreams

Mornings are supposed to bring hope. A new day, new opportunities and new beginnings. But when Arthur awoke on the morning of the third day all he could feel was dread. Dread at what this day had been prophesised to bring. Dread at what he might find. It had all begun three days ago. Just three days to destroy everything…

_Three days earlier…_

They knew they had him surrounded now. The sorcerer. There was no way he could escape this time, not when they had him cornered. Arthur and his knights stood in a semi-circle, swords drawn, all pointing at the man who was crouching, animal-like against the rock wall behind him, eyes flicking to and fro, desperately trying to find a way out. Arthur advanced on him, sword pointed directly over his heart.

"I'll give you one last chance. You can either come quietly, or I can run you through where you stand."

The man's face twisted into a mockery of a smile. "Do what you wish Arthur Pendragon. Don't fool yourself that you are giving me a choice. I can die here or die in your _great city._" The last words were spat out with contempt. "To what harm did I ever do you? What crime did I commit that allows you to hunt me like an animal, to never rest until I am dead."

"You're a sorcerer." Arthur spat. "You practice magic, the most evil thing there is. That is your crime. You openly defy the law in an attempt to trick people into believing magic can be a force for good. I have been taken in by those words before. I will not let anyone else suffer at the hands of magic, like I have."

All of the knights gazes were fixed on the man before them. So they did not notice the flicker of pain that passed over Merlin's eyes. But the man did.

"You just like your father Arthur Pendragon. Just as bitter, just as full of hate. Do you really not believe that magic can be a force for good?"

"It is pure evil."

The man smiled but this time it was not mocking, or hate filled. It was just one small, sad smile. And them he was gone. Vanished. Startled the knights looked desperately around, trying to find where their captive had gone. Then a voice rang out from the top of the cliff above them.

"I'm sorry Arthur Pendragon. I truly am. But in your last words you have proved beyond doubt that the Pendrgons will never change. You have proved you will never be a friend of magic. I'm sorry Arthur Pendragon, but you have failed destiny. And now you must pay the price."

The man was standing atop the cliff, but he was no longer haggard and scared. He was standing tall and proud, glowing with power and magic. This was not the weak, feeble sorcerer they had been hunting. This was a creature of true magic.

"You have proved that your destiny can never be fulfilled. And the price you pay will be a heavy one. When the sun rises on the third day, and destiny crumbles to dust, you will lose the one thing that has kept it alive. The one person who holds all of yours, and Camelot's, hopes and dreams in their hands. Without them the Pendragons will never again rule over Camelot and the age of Albion will never come to pass. Without them there is no hope. Fear that day Arthur Pendragon. Fear it and know that when it comes, it was all your doing. Fear that day and despair.

With that there was a blinding, piercing flash of light and then he was gone. It was as if he had never been there at all. There was silence for a moment. Then.

"Quickly. We need to get back to Camelot. Now!"

Arthur's voice was frantic, terror ruling his every word.

"Arthur," Leon began. "Arthur do you know who he was talking about? Who is it? Who's going to die?"

"Can't you see!" Arthur was regaining some of his composure but his eyes still gave him away, dark with terror. "The person who hold my hopes and dreams. The person who Camelot cannot survive without. He means Gwen!"

"Arthur slow down." Gwaine interrupted. "How do you know? How do you know it's Gwen."

"Because without her, I will have no heir. If I die Camelot will be plunged into a war for power. It could be taken by another kingdom if there is no king to rule it. Without and heir the Pendragon line will never continue. It must be Gwen. Now let's go!"

The knights, grasping the seriousness of the situation, quickly followed Arthur, mounting their horses and riding full pelt towards the city of Camelot. And in their haste no-one noticed the look of despair that haunted Merlin's eyes.

_The night before…_

He had tried. Oh god he had tried. Every Knight of Camelot had been sent on the hunt. Searching for the sorcerer who had predicted this day of doom. But none had succeeded. The man had vanished into thin air, with no trace, no trail, no clues.

But Arthur hadn't given up. He had hunted through the five kingdoms, put out rewards. Gwen had twenty four hour guards, but Arthur knew it wouldn't be enough. Not against magic. Magic had taken his father, his mother, and now it would take his wife. There was nothing more he could do. He had promised Gwen that he would stand watch over her all night if he had to, but he knew it would make no difference. She wasn't scared, but he was. He had seen what magic could do.

So that was why he was with her in their chambers with an order not to be disturbed. Not talking. Just sitting. Cherishing their last moments.

Gwen didn't believe it was true. She trusted that Arthur or the knights would find a solution and, even if that failed, that there was no way she would come to any harm. But Arthur knew differently. He took her hand in his, holding it, trying to memorise how it felt, the rough skin of the many years of work, the small rounded nails, the loving touch.

The door creaked open and Arthur whipped his head round expecting an attack. But none came. A single figure was revealed by the light of the candles, standing by the door as if he wanted to come in, but didn't dare.

"Merlin." Arthur breathed a sigh of relief which soon changed to one of annoyance. "I told you we were not to be disturbed."

"I know Arthur. But I need to tell you something…"

"Merlin, get out!" Arthur was getting angrier by the second, knowing every minute Merlin was here was a minute lost with his love.

"But Arthur…"

"NOW!" Arthur roared. He couldn't stop himself. He needed these last moments. Needed them like he needed air to breath. And his stupid, clumsy servant was ruining that.

"OK Arthur. I'll leave. But just remember one thing. I'll always be your friend. And it wasn't your fault." Merlin turned and slipped quietly out of the room, disappearing into the night.

"Arthur," Gwen whispered quietly. "You didn't need to shout. "He was only trying to help."

"Well he didn't. It is my fault. And if I lose you…"

"You won't. I promise. She smiled and Arthur smiled with her. But his heart was still filled with dread at what the morning would bring…

So that was why, when the first light of dawn crept through his window the next day. All he could feel was dread. He turned to his wife, lying peacefully in the bed beside him, expecting the worst. But the worst did not come. She was alive. Actually alive, her breath gently swaying the strand of hair lying across her face. Arthur felt his heart lighten with joy and he swept her into his arms, like her never wanted to let go.

"Arthur?" Gwen's voice was bleary and confused with sleep.

"You're alive Gwen. It's alright. Everything's alright. You're alive. The sorcerer was wrong." He laughed a joy-filled relieved sound that echoed around the room. And then she laughed too, and hugged him back and everything was alright again.

"I need to go and tell the knights. They were so worried, especially Elyan. They'll be so relieved!" Arthur was out of the bed now, hurriedly dressing himself to go and spread the good news.

"OK Arthur, calm down." Gwen smiled. "Why don't you tell Merlin and Gaius first? I think they were the most concerned. And you need to apologise to Merlin. For last night."

"Of course." Arthur was drunk on happiness, relief filling his every being. He grabbed his shirt and raced out of the door, determined to spread the news that the queen lived, that Camelot was safe again.

He sprinted through the corridors and burst into the door of the physician's chambers yelling…

"Gaius, Merlin, she's alive! Gwen's alive! The curse didn't work. She's alive. Everything's alright. She's alive!

And that was when he noticed the figure, lying silent and motionless, on the cold stone floor.

**So how was it? This is a new style of writing for me so it would be great to know what you think of it. I can continue this if anyone wants me to, with Merlin's point of view and what happens after. So drop me a review and tell me if you want it to carry on and what you thought. Thanks for reading!**


	2. The View of the Victim

The View of the Victim

**Wow. When I wrote this story I never expected to get such a fantastic response from it. You guys are amazing! This story was probably going to stay as a one-shot but after such and amazing response I have decided to turn it into a full sized story. **

**So thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. You guys are awesome. And also thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited this. All of you are the reason this story has continued. So this next chapter is from Merlin's point of view (The rest of the story will be from Arthur's). **

Merlin hated hunting. He always had and he probably always will. He just couldn't see the fun in hunting down defenceless creatures for a sport, a game. And there is only one thing Merlin hated more than hunting for animals. And that was hunting for people. For sorcerers.

But he had to play his part. So that was why he was standing with Arthur and his knights, trapping one of his kin in an inescapable ring. He had tried to give him a chance. Mysteriously falling boulders, unnoticed trees on the paths, even the horses bolting in the completely wrong direction. But his efforts were in vain and now he would have to watch another of his kin die by the hand of his best friend.

"To what harm did I ever do you? What crime did I commit that allows you to hunt me like an animal, to never rest until I am dead"

The sorcerer was not pleading his innocence. There was no point. But the words he said were more desperate than any plea of innocence. They were the words that Merlin screamed in his head every day, as more and more of his kind were murdered for how they were born.

"You're a sorcerer." Arthur spat. "You practice magic, the most evil thing there is. That is your crime. You openly defy the law in an attempt to trick people into believing magic can be a force for good. I have been taken in by those words before. I will not let anyone else suffer at the hands of magic, like I have."

Merlin's face remained emotionless, but the words each hit him like a physical blow, a thousand knives ripping him apart. Arthur didn't believe magic could ever be a force for good. All his work had been for nothing. He would have to hide for the rest of his life, live as a shadow until the day he died. And it was his fault. He had turned Arthur against magic forever and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"It is pure evil." No. No Arthur couldn't think that. Please let him not truly think that.

Merlin was so caught up in his own thoughts that he missed the sorcerer's next words. But he did notice when the man vanished from sight. Gone. Like he was never there at all. He looked around with the knights, glad that the man had escaped but at a loss as to how he had done it. To disappear would need some seriously powerful magic. He should have sensed it. And then he did.

Suddenly the air was crackling with power. And not just normal power. This was ancient, as old as the very world itself. It was the kind of power he had only felt once before in his life, when he was in the crystal cave, the birthplace of magic. This was true power. And then he saw the sorcerer standing atop the cliff, and could hear clearly his next words and they filled him with a freezing sense of dread.

"I'm sorry Arthur Pendragon. I truly am. But in your last words you have proved beyond doubt that the Pendrgons will never change. You have proved you will never be a friend of magic. I'm sorry Arthur Pendragon, but you have failed destiny. And now you must pay the price. You have proved that your destiny can never be fulfilled. And the price you pay will be a heavy one. When the sun rises on the third day, and destiny crumbles to dust, you will lose the one thing that has kept it alive. The one person who holds all of yours, and Camelot's, hopes and dreams in their hands. Without them the Pendragons will never again rule over Camelot and the age of Albion will never come to pass. Without them there is no hope. Fear that day Arthur Pendragon. Fear it and know that when it comes, it was all your doing. Fear that day and despair."

The world seem to freeze in that moment. No. No he couldn't mean… it couldn't be true. But the creature standing high above them was not looking at Arthur, or at his knights. He was looking directly at Merlin, and there was a look of great sadness upon his face. And then he spoke his next words but they did not come for his lips. They came from his mind and echoed around Merlin's head and making his blood turn to ice in his veins.

"I'm sorry Emrys."

And then he was gone.

The world seemed to moved again and with it sound, light and colour were brought back with a crashing finality. Merlin could hear the others talking, but his brain could not process what they said. It was if his mind was stuck on a loop, replaying the man's last words over and over again.

"I'm sorry Emrys…the sun rises…the third day…destiny crumbles to dust…you will lose…who hold the hopes and dreams…Albion will never come...no hope…despair...I'm sorry…I'm sorry… "

He was going to die. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He had tried. Oh god he had tried. He had tried everything he could think of. He had searched for the man, hoping beyond hope he could find him, make him lift the curse. But nothing. He had disappeared. Gone. Vanished like a leaf on the wind, blown away into the sky and lost forever. And the worst thing. Arthur didn't know. How could he. How could he tell that the person to whom the great and powerful magical being had referred was his stupid, idiot of a servant. He couldn't know.

He thought it was Gwen. Of course he did. Everyone was frantic with protections, making sure that the queen would live. But Merlin knew it was all pointless. If it really was Gwen that was in danger, no amount of guards would save her. But it wasn't her. It was him.

She was scared, he could tell. She put on a brave face for Arthur and his knights, but deep down she was terrified of what was to come. And he knew that no matter how scared he was, he had to at least reassure Gwen she would be fine. And she would be.

"Don't worry Gwen. Arthur will find a way. He always does. You're not in any danger. I promise."

They were sitting alone in a disused corridor, and he knew that he had to do everything in his power to stop her feeling so afraid.

" Merlin I'm scared. What if he can't? I can't leave Arthur alone, not now. And…and…I'm scared for me too. I…I don't want to die."

For the first time since she had heard the news she burst into tears, letting go of all her pent up emotions and sobbing into his shoulder.

"It's OK Gwen." He rubbed her back, letting her cry, knowing it was better this way. "You won't come to any harm. I promise you. And since when have I ever broken a promise."

She looked up, her eyes red and puffy, and smiled at him, looking brighter than she had all day. "Thank you Merlin. You're a great friend. You always have been. And if I do die…"

"You won't."

"But if I do. Do me one last favour. Look after Arthur for me."

"Of course. You would do the same for me."

He thinks for a second that she almost sees the double meaning in his words. But then it's gone and she is just a very frightened girl again. Trying to hide her fear and desperately hoping that her friend is right and everything will turn out OK again.

On the night before the third day, he turns to his last resort. He stands in the field he has stood in so many times before and calls the heavens for the last of his kind, hoping beyond hope that there is still a chance to change the future. But the words he hears are far from comforting.

"I'm sorry young warlock. But if this is true, and Arthur has failed destiny then he must pay a terrible price. And so must you. Destiny must succeed, no matter what the cost. If this is what has been foretold then it means that your death, and only your death, will set destiny right again."

"But I thought it was my destiny to protect Arthur. To unite the land of Albion with him. How can I do that if I die?"

"No young warlock. It was your destiny to make sure that Arthur grew into the king he was destined to be, and to make sure he will unite the land of Albion. It was also your destiny to bring back magic to this land. If it has been foretold that this is the only way for this to come to pass, then I am powerless to stop it. I'm sorry young warlock. But there is nothing I can do."

"But it's not fair." Even to him the words sound childish and silly but they are true. Why does he have to pay for Arthur's mistakes? Why does he have to sacrifice everything for destiny?

"No." That one word seems to come from the dragon's very soul, and in it Merlin can hear that he too is in pain, in his own way.

"If I could do anything to prevent this great tragedy then I would. But I can't" The dragon sighed. A deep regretful sigh that filled his very being. "I will miss you Merlin. I have said before. It will be an empty world without you."

"Goodbye old friend." Merlin smiled, a last sad smile, and watched as the dragon gave him one last look, then took off on his great bronze wings, and soared away into the night. Then he turned and walked slowly towards his home.

When he arrived at Camelot, he found he still had one thing he needed to do. One task to complete before he left this world forever. Slowly he made his way up the achingly familiar route to the doors that he knew so well, and that concealed his best friend from the eyes of the world. Arthur had given orders not to be disturbed, but Merlin couldn't leave. Not without saying goodbye.

He pushed the doors open, and was suddenly reminded of another time he had walked into this room, thinking it to be his last. But this time there was no lucky escape. This time it really was goodbye.

As he entered, Arthur whipped round. He and Gwen were sitting together, her hand in his, and Merlin could almost feel the pain they were feeling, as they thought it to be their last night together. In that moment he was almost glad it was him not Gwen that would be departing this life. If Arthur were to lose Gwen again he would never recover. Maybe it was better this way.

"Merlin." Arthur sounded relieved, but his voice soon changed to harsher tones. "I told you we were not to be disturbed."

"I know Arthur. But I need to tell you something…" he needed to say this now, before he lost it completely.

"Merlin, get out." Arthur didn't understand. He needed to stay. He needed to tell him…

"But"

"Now" Arthur's voice was filled with a fury he had never heard before. It was the voice of a man who is desperate, and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. A man who is awaiting a great tragedy, with no power to stop it, no way to save what he most loves. Only able to sit and watch as his life falls apart around him. Merlin almost fled there and then, but he held his ground, knowing he had one last thing to say.

"OK Arthur. I'll leave. But just remember one thing." There was so much he wanted to tell him. So much he still had to say. Arthur I'm a warlock. Arthur I only serve to protect you and Camelot. Arthur, I've saved you more times than you will ever know. Arthur it was me. Arthur I'm going to die. Arthur this is goodbye. Arthur, I'm scared. But what came out was the only thing he could truly say, the only thing that Arthur would be able to look back and understand the true meaning of the words.

I'll always be your friend. And it wasn't your fault." Then he turned and slipped out of the room and into the blackness of his last night.

When he was alone again he stopped. He had known he was going to die. But he had never pictured how he would spend the last few hours of his life. Maybe telling Arthur about himself, and explaining how magic can be used for good. Maybe talking with Gaius about all the things they had done, and what to tell everyone when he had gone.

But instead he had found himself wandering alone through the familiar empty corridors of the castle, memorising how they looked for the last time. He walked throughout the whole castle, visiting every nook and cranny, even the cave he had seen so many times before, and where he had first learned of his destiny. Lastly he visited the stables. It seemed a strange place to spend the last hour of his life but then again it was not.

He had spent plenty of time in the stables, preparing the horses, or mucking them out as a punishment from Arthur. He spent most of his time there ranting about Arthur, about how he never appreciated Merlin and how it wasn't fair and one day he would see just how wrong he was. Now he stood in the familiar stall, next to his and Arthur's mounts, gently stroking their noses for the last time, knowing he would never see them again.

"Hey," he said, giving them one last pat. "Thanks for listening." Then he turned around and made his way up to his chambers as the sky began to lighten around him. Up the silent corridors, up the twisting staircase, up to the familiar wooden door that he had first seen so many years ago. Turning the handle he slipped through as quietly as he could. It was only then he realised he had never really said goodbye to Gaius. As he walked into the room, he remembered his last conversation with the man who had looked after him for so many years …

"_Merlin, we have to do something. We have to save Gwen."_

"_Gaius, it's ok. It's sorted. Gwen won't come to any harm. I promise."_

"_Really? You did it? Well done Merlin. I'm so proud of you. Are you sure everything will be alright?"_

"_I promise."_

"_Merlin. One day Arthur will see just how much you've done for him. One day he will truly understand. But for now just know. I am proud to call you my son."_

Gaius had swallowed the lies as easily as everyone else. But he had to tell him the truth now. He owed him that much at least. He couldn't talk to him face to face, that would be too painful. But he would write him a letter. A letter telling him how much he meant to him, and that he was sorry and that to tell Arthur…

It was as he made his way across the room that it happened. A single brilliant ray of sun shot through the window and landed at the floor by his feet, bringing new light to the darkened room. In that moment it was as if the whole world froze, and he would be suspended in the moment forever. But he wasn't.

Merlin fell, hitting the floor his breath leaving him in a final shuddering gasp. His hand stretched out, clawing at thin air, reaching for what, he didn't know. His breath was becoming fainter, and his vision was blurring around the edges giving the room an unreal, dream-like quality. His heart seemed to fade from his hearing, its beats becoming fainter every second. The last thing Merlin saw was a single, brilliant ray of sunlight, marking out the new day it brought. Then his eyes closed and he fell backwards into oblivion.


	3. The Mighty Have Fallen

The Mighty Have Fallen

**I'm sorry but Cloud-dee won't be able to write to you for a while. She looked at the review count for this story this morning and promptly died of complete and utter happiness. She will finish this author's note in a minute once someone has dragged her back down from heaven, where she is currently sitting on a cloud, with a halo and a harp, singing about the joys of Merlin, people and the universe in general.**

**But seriously. You guys are AWESOME! (I can't write enough exclamation marks so explain how awesome you are) I never though this story would be so popular, but all the fantastic support has completely inspired me to keep writing! I was going to write a list of all the amazing people who reviewed but there were TOO MANY OF YOU! There are no words to describe how good that made me feel. So just know that you are literally my favourite people on earth right now and it is thanks to you that this chapter is going up now. I have tried to PM everyone who has sent me a review (unless you don't have an account in which you will find your reply at the bottom of the story) but if I missed you just tell me and I fix that as you people are way to awesome to be forgotten and if you were I blame it entirely on my computer, which hates me. Also thanks to everyone who has alerted and favourited this story. Again words cannot explain...**

**So, onto the story. Just so you know, this takes place directly after chapter 1. Funnily enough this chapter only lasts about 10 minutes for my highly abused characters, but it took me HOURS to write. I hope I have managed to get all the emotions to feel real (they certainly did to me, I was depressed the whole evening and no-one could work out what was wrong!)**

**But just as a last note, this story is not going to be a Merlin-dies-the end kind of story. In fact if you look at the categories it is in you'll see Angst and ****Friendship.**** I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment but there is still some of that to come. This is not the end!**

**So finally, I will float back off to heaven to contemplate the awesomeness of my readers, while you can enjoy the next chapter of The Hopes and Dreams.**

**Till next time...**

**Cloud-dee**

_He sprinted through the corridors and burst into the door of the physician's chambers, yelling… "Gaius, Merlin, she's alive! Gwen's alive! The curse didn't work. She's alive. Everything's alright. She's alive! And that was when he noticed the figure, lying silent and motionless, on the cold stone floor…_

And that was the moment that Arthur felt his life literally fall into pieces around his feet. The world seemed to stop and he was frozen in the moment, suspended in that one horrible second of time when he knew that he had been wrong and nothing was alright. And that nothing would ever be alright ever again. That one moment when all that filled his vision was the body that was stretched out, lifeless before him, the body he had seen so many times before, but never so pale, so cold.

It plunged him back. Back into memories, memories of other times when he had seen this same body lying seemingly dead before him. But this time it was different. This time there was no breath, however faint, passing through his lips. This time there was no steady, reassuring beat from a heart that had never failed him before. This time the sense of terror that filled his every being was not going to be subdued by smile from the lips of his best friend. This time it was different. This time it was real.

But Merlin couldn't be dead. It just didn't happen. It couldn't happen. It went against everything Arthur had ever known about his life. Everything he had ever believed in. Because Merlin was always _there_. Even in the darkest times Merlin was the one thing that could be counted on. The one constant in his life that would never leave, never change. An unfailing resource of hope and courage, of friendship and forgiveness. The rest of his life was a mystery. A twisting maze of betrayals and loss. But there was always a light. A single light of hope and belief that guided him through the darkest of hours. A single light that would always be there to guide him. A light that would never fade.

Except it had faded. It had done more. It had be extinguished completely, plunging Arthur into a new dark world of despair, with no light to guide him home again. Gone. Forever. Just like him.

NO! He was not gone. He couldn't be. He couldn't…

It seemed to Arthur that he had been frozen for years, staring at the body that had once before been his best and most trusted friend. But in reality he had been staring for less than a second. Less than a second to process this new, twisted trick that had been pulled on him by destiny. Less than a second to realise that his best friend, the one person who had always trusted and believed in him, the one person who he had always taken for granted, the one person who would stand by him to the bitter end, was dead.

Arthur fell, his legs giving out and his knees hitting the floor with a sickening thud. He stretched out one trembling had and gently touched the cheek of the man before him. It was lifeless. Cold.

"Gaius" he tried to speak but his throat was constricting, his voice refusing to raise above a whisper. Then again, louder "GAIUS!"

The older man had already been woken by the sound of his noisy entrance but since only a few seconds had passed, and he was still bleary with sleep, he hadn't yet full processed what was going on. Stumbling slightly, he staggered out of bed and across the room.

"What is it. Arthur what's wrong. I thought you said Gwen…" It was then that he saw Arthur, kneeling, shaking on the floor, and the body that was lying beside him.

"No." His voice, like Arthurs seemed to barely be able to be raised above a hoarse whisper. "No!" Gaius stumbled over the floor and sank down next to Arthur, reaching out to grasp the wrist of his surrogate son who was sprawled out on the floor before him, praying to feel that single beat, a pulse, something, anything, that would prove that it could all turn out alright. But he felt nothing. There was only stillness, and a silence that seemed to stretch to the ends of the earth. Then he whipped round, with a fury in his eyes that Arthur had never seen before.

"Arthur. What was the prophecy? The one that predicted a death. What was it! The exact words. What were the exact words Arthur. TELL ME!" His voice was filled with a fire that scared Arthur more than he ever could have been before. "TELL ME!"

Arthur fumbled for the words, his brain still not full comprehending what had happened. "I don't know! I don't remember. It was something about me…failing destiny… that Gwen would die…Albion would never come…"

"Did he say Gwen! DID HE! Did he tell you that it was Gwen that he spoke of!"

"No. It was…he said, about the person who holds mine and Camelot's hopes and dreams… the one we can't live without... the one who ensures the Pendragons remain on the throne." He was starting to see it now, beginning to understand what Gaius was getting at. "But I can't be him Gaius. It can't be. It just… can't."

"Oh you stupid boy." The change in Gaius' tone scared Arthur more than any amount of shouting had. The words had been reduced to barely more than a whisper, and the fire that had previously burned so passionately through them was extinguished. Replaced instead by a tone of utter defeat and despair. "You stupid, stupid boy."

Arthur couldn't tell if Gaius was speaking to him or to the body of the person who was lying still and silent on the floor between them. Or to both.

"You should have told me." Again Arthur was unsure to whom the man was addressing. And then Gaius looked into his eyes and the look he gave Arthur pierced him like a knife, cutting straight to his soul. "Oh Arthur. How stupid we've been. How stupid we all have been."

What? The shock of the situation, though not lessened in the slightest, was steadily being overpowered by the questions that were rushing through Arthur's head, like a river when the dam has been removed and the torrents waters are let free. A hundred thousand questions, spinning through his head with an insane speed and ferocity. But all were topped by the hollow, emptiness that had taken hold of him and was beginning to spread, eating him out from the inside.

It was then that the door burst open for a second time that morning, slamming back on its hinges and creaking from the battering it had endured. Both heads turned in time to see Gwen burst into the room, cheeks flushed with happiness and a smile spread across her face. Her look soon changed to one of confusion as she saw Arthur and Gaius, Gaius still in his nightclothes, kneeling beside each other on the cold stone floor. And then she saw what they were kneeing beside.

All the colour seemed to drain out of her face in less than a second, the flush gone, replaced by a deathly white mask. Her expression changed from one of confusion to one of absolute horror and like Arthur had done only minutes before she dropped to her knees and stared, shocked, at the sight before her.

"No! No it can't be. No" Her voice started off as a whisper but quickly grew into a piercing shriek. "NO!"

Arthur and Gaius both sat in silence. Unable to do more than watch as the woman before them burst into a sudden flood of tears, then lay on the floor sobbing and reaching out to grasp the lifeless hand of her friend.

"He promised me it would be alright. HE PROMISED!" She lifted herself up and clung to Arthur sobbing into his shoulder. Arthur made no move to help, no move to comfort her. He only stared, as if in a trance, at the body of his best friend, lying dead upon the floor.

None of them knew how long they sat there. It felt like hours, though in reality it was probably only a few minutes. Then, without warning Gwen sat up, new knowledge burning in her eyes. "He knew." She wasn't looking at Arthur but at Gaius, pleading with him for an answer. "He knew it was him didn't he."

Gaius didn't speak, only nodded his eyes filled with the deep agonising pain of loss.

"He spent all that time comforting me. Making sure I was alright. And all that time he knew. It should have been the other way round. He shouldn't have comforted me, I should have comforted him. And all this time he knew what was going to happen. Why didn't he tell us? Why…" She trailed off, a look of horror crossing her face.

"Oh god! Last night. He was saying goodbye. Oh god he was saying goodbye! Oh Arthur."

No. No. No please say it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. He couldn't have been saying goodbye. If he had Arthur would have known. Would have seen. Would have understood. No. Oh please god no. But the truth cannot be erased, no matter how many lies you tell yourself. And the truth for Arthur hit him with a force that would have sent him staggering to his knees had he not been already crouched and kneeling on the floor. It was true. He had. He had been saying goodbye. And Arthur had told him… He had said…

It was only when Arthur thought he couldn't feel any more pain that it truly hit him. It was like a pit of despair had opened up beneath him, a great chasm. And now he was falling, falling, down and down into the darkness that awaited him below. This was his fault. All his fault. He had been trying to say goodbye. Trying. But Arthur had stopped him. He had shouted and forced his friend to leave.

"_I'll always be your friend." _

But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Because now he was gone.

"_And it wasn't your fault."_

But it was. It was all his fault and there was nothing he could do to change that. Nothing he could do. His fault. It was all his fault. He was gone. And the last thing Arthur had said to him were words of anger. Sending him away. Forever.

"But it can't be him." His voice was no longer a whisper or a shout, but a strangled croak. "It couldn't have been him. The prophecy didn't say anything _about_ him. So why…"

He turned to Gaius as if he held the key, the saving words that could reverse everything that had happened reveal the true meaning of this horrible, twisted trick.

Then Arthur opened his mouth again and croaked out the one word that expressed all his feelings, all his emotions. The pain, the loss, the confusion, and most of all the desperation. The desperation of anything that could relieve him of the terrible guilt that was crushing his heart and threating to pull him down into the blackness.

"_Why?_"

Gaius sighed, knowing that the answer would only bring more pain, if that was even possible. But it was time for Arthur to know. It was time for him to understand . The time for lies was over. Gaius opened his mouth and said the words that he knew he would someday have to say, but that brought him more pain than anything else had in that tragic beginning of a day.

"Arthur. There's something you need to know. Something I still haven't told you."

_To be continued…_

"Too late we learn a man must hold his friend, unjudged, accepted and trusted to the end." –John Boyle O'Reilly

**So, there it is. How was it? Good? Bad? Sad? Happy (I hope not!) drop me a review and tell me what you think. Below are all the replies to the unsigned reviews so if that was you check it out. If it wasn't you than you can still check it out but you probably won't understand any of it. Finally, as a last note, the next chapter will be out Thursday or Friday depending on how much I am inspired by the awesomeness of your reviews! (And yes that is blackmail :) So read. Reply. Review. Anything else that begins with R. Thanks again. Signing out.**

**Cloud-Dee**

_**Jaymie**_**- Thank you! More is comming I promise. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

_**TigerTiger 11**_**- Thanks, it's great that you think that!**

_**Arnia**_**- Sorry (hands over tissue) Don't worry, I'm doing a great job of tearing my own heart out in the process! Thanks for the luck. I'll need it! But I'm glad you are enjoying my story and more is to come...**

_**Anya**_**- I know. I didn't want Merlin to tell Gaius because it would be too painful for both of them knowing there was nothing they could do. But he doesn't seem to pleased at the moment...**

_**CeCe**_**- Yes. Yes he is. But we love him all the same. And I think he's paying for it enough in this chapter.**

_**Janssye**_**- Thank you! I'm honoured.**

_**M**_**- Yes it was wasn't it. And I hope this chapter answers your question. Because Arthur was way to caught up in his own stuff to explain and Merlin's explanations leave a lot to be desired. I hope you enjoyed Arthur's point of veiw.**


	4. The Higher They Rise

The Higher They Rise

**Hello my awesome readers! Just when I though you people couldn't get any more incredible, you proved me wrong! I am now nearly on a hundred and fifty reviews for this story! I...just...say...gah! I cannot describe everything I feel about that so I'll just have to tell you how utterly, amazingly, incredibly, indescribably, tremendously, phenomenally truly awesome you all are in as many long words as I can think of at the moment. Phew. **

**So firstly I have had a few questions on my updating schedule. The truth is, I don't actually have one. I try to post every two to three days but I can't always say exactly when. That's because this isn't just a story I have written and am now posting. (If it was you would be on the last chapter by now trust me) I am actually writing this as I update. I know how the story will end and I have planned all the chapters and there are lots of extracts scribbled in my various notebooks, but after I write a chapter I post it. It's much more fun like that, because if i get a really inspiring comment, or one that has a question I haven't answered, I can include it in my next chapter. So yeah, that's why.**

**Also some people asked me why I update so fast. The truth is, is that it's for all of you. I know that personally when I read a story and I really enjoy, if there is a massive gap between posts it gets really annoying (kind of like the wait for series 5 of Merlin...). So I post as much as I can so you don't have to be left in suspense for too long. Especially since I tend to leave my chapters on a cliffhanger ( I am actually just being really nice, so you won't kill me when you found out where I ended this one) So if you think it's a problem I update so fast I could leave it for a week, but I've got a feeling that you would probably like it to stay the way it is...**

**Also, in case anyone was wondering about the chapter name, it comes from the phrase "The higher they rise, the further they fall." Just a little fun fact for you.**

**Finally, this is by far my favourite chapter. It's great because I've been looking forward to writing it since I first got the idea for the story. All the other chapters have sort of been just dealing with the aftermath of Merlin's death (this one is too) but by then end, it has moved into more interesting waters. So it was my favourite to write by a long way. I hope it will be your favourite to read. It is also my longest chapter (over 5,000 words, phew!) But I just had to get to the end just so I could write the last line that I have written (don't skip ahead and ruin it for yourself, wait and see...)**

**So yes. You are incredible. I update fast. And I am currently hiding behind my sofa, waiting for your reactions. On with the chapter!**

_Gaius opened his mouth and said the words that he knew he would someday have to say, but that brought him more pain than anything else had in that tragic beginning of a day._

"_Arthur. There's something you need to know. Something I still haven't told you."_

So this was how Arthur finally learned of the truth. Not in some epic battle, when all seemed lost until their saviour had stepped in again and revealed himself in blazing glory. Not in a quiet moment, when there were no more walls to break down, and the trust that they shared was finally complete. Not even in an accident, when Arthur turned around at the just wrong moment and caught that treacherous flash of gold out of the corner of his eye.

No. The way Arthur learned of the truth was sitting silently and miserably, on a cold stone floor, with the body of his once best friend stretched out before him.

While Gaius spoke, Arthur and Gwen listened, never interrupting. Gwen's face showed a range of emotions, Changing from shock to horror to understanding and then finally to acceptance. But Arthur's never changed, not even for a moment. It remained blank and unreadable, his eyes glassy and unseeing, staring into the face of his friend. Gaius wasn't even sure if he was listening, but when he stopped talking for a second, Arthur turned to look at him for the first time and he realised that he was.

He continued the story, from the moment when Merlin first arrived into his chambers, right up to the last day, when the prophecy had been revealed. He talked for a long time, explaining how Merlin was born this way and about his great destiny. He spoke of all the times he had risked his life and saved them all, without any of them ever realising the truth. About how much he had sacrificed for them. And when he finally ran out of words and couldn't speak any more, he sat in silence and watched the faces of the two people before him.

"So it was him." It was not Arthur but Gwen who spoke first, her voice filled with a new understanding that only serve to bring new pain. "It was always him."

She didn't look angry or upset anymore, only sad, and a little at a loss. "All those times and I never even noticed. Not once. And all that time he was risking his life to save us. We never even said thank you." Her voice took on a new tone of contempt, not for the sorcerer before her but for them, the people who had never noticed, who had never tried to look deeper. Who had never cared. But they had cared. They had always cared. But now it was too late.

Gaius, who had talked himself into exhaustion, turned from her to look at Arthur. It was his reaction that mattered. His reaction that could change everything. But his face remained as blank as ever, his eyes retaining that unfocused quality that made Gaius wonder if he had really understood at all. But this was just one shock in a course of so many, and, though he never believed he would say this, it was not the most important. Not anymore.

The three of them sat in silence for a few more minutes, Gwen thinking, Gaius deciding what to do next, and Arthur still staring at the face of his friend, unmoving. It was only when the door burst open for the third time that day that they were dragged back from their own thoughts to reality of the situation. Gwen and Gaius turned round to look at the newcomer who was standing in the doorway, panting for breath. It was Leon.

"Sire." He gasped. "What happened? We heard from a guard that Gwen was alive." His eyes flickered to Gwen as if to check her continuing existence. "But then we couldn't find you. We've been looking all over. A maid said she say you run up here hours ago so I came to look. What happened? What's wrong?"

He peered around them, trying to see what they were hiding. He saw soon enough.

"What?" His voice was filled with confusion, then dread. "He not… He can't be…No. Not _Merlin_. He can't be_. He can't be."_

Gwen stood up and grasped Leon's arm, steering him towards the door. "Leon, I need you to go now and inform the court that I am alive and well. Say nothing else, do you hear me. Nothing else. You can tell the other knights if you have to but no other person. Then I need you to come back here. I'll explain everything then."

"But…"

"Please Leon. Do this for me. If not for me do it for Arthur." She looked around and Leon looked with her, to where Arthur was still sitting perfectly still and silent on the floor. He stared for a moment, then nodded and sprinted back out of the room.

Gwen slumped back down to the floor and sighed.

"Gaius we have to move. Leon will be back in a few minutes. We have to do something. Work out what to tell him, and what to tell the court."

"Not the truth." Gaius was only sure of that one thing, and that was this could not get out. Not yet.

"No." She agreed, seeing the logic in his words. "But what about the knights? They know Merlin almost as well as we do. Did. But they deserve to know the truth. We can trust them. Right Arthur?"

Arthur looked round at the sound of his name but it was a slow unfocused movement and he made no attempt to answer the question other than a tiny, almost unnoticeable nod. Then he returned to his original position staring at the body in front of him. Gaius and Gwen exchanged a look behind his back, not knowing quite what to do. An angry Arthur they could deal with. An upset Arthur was manageable. But this? Finally Gwen brought up the subject they had all been desperately trying to avoid.

"Gaius, we have to move him. We have to move his…his body." Her voice cracked on the last word and it looked as if she would break down again. But she took a deep breath and straightened up, looking determined. "We can't just leave him here, lying on the floor. Let's move him, at least onto the bed. Then we can work out what to…what to do.

Gaius nodded silently, and then went as if to pick Merlin up. But Arthur got there first. His hand shot out and grasped Gaius' wrist in a vice-like grip, the glazed look leaving his eyes, replaced by some unreadable emotion that filled his face with a kind of mad determination.

"No. I'll do it." He reached down and picked up the limp form from the floor, cradling it in his arms. Gwen ran over to the bed and stripped off the sheet, giving Arthur room to lower Merlin onto the mattress. Then they all gathered round and stared at the face they knew so well.

It had hardly changed. The messy black hair, the too big ears, even the stupid neckerchief still tied round his neck. But the face was deathly pale and cold. The lips were tinged with blue and there was no gentle rise and fall from the chest that would give them hope. And they all knew that if his eyes were open, then the bright mischievous spark that always glowed in their depths would be gone. The same face. Yet it would never be the same again.

It was Gwen who turned away first. She surreptitiously wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and reached out to Arthur, gently pulling him with her. Then she made her way over to the door and had almost reached it before it was flung open for the fourth and final time. Someone stormed into the room, fury cracking around them like lightning, burning everyone it touched. Other figures followed chasing after the first and filling the room with unexpected amounts of noise and colour.

A fist smashed into Arthur's face and sent him reeling backwards, staggering from the force of the blow. He stumbled and put a hand to his face, drawing it way to see the red of blood dripping from his now broken nose. But other than that he didn't react, didn't even raise a hand to defend himself, even as the fist came swinging round for a second time.

"No Gwaine!" Percival's deep booming voice echoed around the room and his hand was wrapping Gwaine's in a vice-like grip, refusing to let him swing another punch.

"Let go of me! Now!" Gwaine's voice was filled with a malice and hatred that no-one in the room had ever heard there before. "If you don't I swear to god I'll kill you too. Now Let. Go. Of. Me!"

"Gwaine please, calm down." This was Elyan speaking, standing a little behind Percival, keeping out of the way of the enraged man. "If you just calm down we can…"

"Don't you tell me to calm down." Gwaine spat his eyes fixed on Arthur. "This is his fault. He's killed him. He killed Merlin. He killed my friend. It's all his fault. It was him that brought this curse down on us. And it's Merlin that had to pay the price. So you let me go and let me give him what he deserves. And then maybe I'll think about calming down." The venom that filled his voice was practically tangible in the air, the hatred seeping out of every pore.

"Gwaine please," This was Gwen. She had rushed to stand between the two men, and the tears that filled her eyes seemed to drag Gwaine out of his enraged trance. He lowered his wrist, taking a step back to show he meant no more harm, but all the while his eyes were stilled glued to Arthur, and the fire that burned there was far from extinguished.

Leon, Percival, Elyan and Gwaine all stood in the room, breathing heavily and glaring at each other. Then Elyan turned to Gaius and spoke the question they all wanted answered.

"Is it true?"

There were no words needed. All eyes followed Gaius' as they travelled over the room and rested on the bed at the side, where the motionless figure still lay. Gwaine sucked in a breath through his teeth, looking for a moment as though he wanted to attack Arthur again. Then he strode over to the bed, the other knights following a few steps behind him. He looked for a moment at the pale, lifeless face and then turned to Gaius, lips white with fury.

"Gaius. What happened. Why him."

Gaius looked around at the scene before him. Gwen, tears starting to reform in her deep brown eyes, next to a furious Gwaine and some very confused knights. Then over to Arthur who still hadn't moved from his position by the door, a steady flow of blood dripping from his nose and onto the floor. Gaius took a deep breath and then gestured to the table and chairs in the middle of the room.

"You might want to sit down. I've got a lot of explaining to do."

In fact it was Gwen who told most of the story, having already heard it once before. For Gaius, it soon became too much and he choked on his words, unable to continue. So it was Gwen who explained to the knights the whole amazing tale, from the very beginning right to the day they had hunted the sorcerer through the woods, what seemed like a lifetime ago. It was then she stopped, Gaius finishing the tale, explaining about destiny, and why their friend was now lying lifeless on a bed beside them.

The knights faces all portrayed a mixture of conflicting emotions, shock, anger, grief and understanding, all mixed with the horror of dawning truth. Only Gwaine's remained impassive, his face showing no sign of shock, only shooting dark looks at Arthur every few minutes.

"You knew, didn't you Gwaine."Gauis looked over to the other man, knowing the answer. It wasn't a question but a statement of fact, just one more truth revealed in this final great discovery.

"No, I didn't. But I suspected." Gwaine's voice was low and slightly dangerous. "I have for a while now. It's not hard to notice, not once you know what to look for. In fact I'm surprised you don't all know already. Especially him." He jerked his head back towards Arthur who was sitting slumped against the wall, eyes downcast. "But then again he never seemed to care much for his _friends._"

"Well it makes no difference now." This was Leon speaking and he was already thinking ahead, planning what to do next. He was shocked at the truths that had been unveiled but for now there were more important things to discuss. "We need to make some decisions. Like, what are we going to tell the court about what has happened?"

"Nothing. Not yet." Gwen was speaking again, trying to come to grips with the situation and thinking through each step logically, ignoring the grief knawing at her insides. "Merlin will be honoured as the hero was, but we can't just go in and announce it just like that. They'll think we've all gone mad, or else been enchanted. We have to wait. Arthur can announce it when he's… When he's feeling better."

All heads turned towards the still motionless figure, slumped against the wall. Arthur made no move to acknowledge their presence other than a slight upward flick of his eyes, which rested on them for a moment, then slid back down to the patch of floor he had previously been staring at.

Everyone turned away, not wanting to look at their king in this state. They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Leon broke it with the words everyone had been feeling in their hearts.

"I just can't believe he's gone."

Saying those words seemed to bring the reality of the situation crashing down on them again. He was gone. Really, truly gone. They would never see his smile or hear his laugh again. Never see him stumbling after them on hunts, scaring off all the prey. Never see him ride into endless dangers with them again, with no armour or sword to protect him. Merlin had always seemed to be incredibly lucky. Now it seemed his luck had finally run out.

"Leon, Gwaine, Percival, we need to go. The council will be wondering where we are. And where Arthur is too for that matter. We need to smooth things over and then we can come back, and help sort everything out."

"Sort everything out for what?" Gwen turned to her brother, confusion alight in her eyes. "What do we need to sort out?"

"Merlin's funeral."

And so began the longest day of their lives. There seemed to be so much to do but none of them had any energy to do it. They completed their tasks in a daze, always thinking, always remembering. Gwen went away to properly address the court and to assure them that she was fine. The knights went around completing their duties with no real idea of what they were doing. Gaius began to prepare for the funeral of his son in all but blood. And Arthur just sat in the physician's chambers. Unmoving and silent, while inside he was being frozen by the shock and torn apart by the guilt.

Gwen visited him early that afternoon while Gaius was out and sat, holding his hand and hoping in some way, at least her presence was a slight comfort to him. After about an hour she left and went to find Gaius.

"Please Gaius. What's wrong with him? I've never seen him like this before, not even when Uther died." Her eyes pleaded with him to give her some kind of explanation, some kind of cure.

"There are many things that contribute." Gaius chose his words carefully, not wanting to upset her. "But mostly it's the shock. There are just too many things happening, to many discoveries. He feels… unable to cope. Horrified. Betrayed. To find Merlin has magic on top of everything else is just too much. But most of all he's feeling guilt. He feels that this is all his fault." Gaius' voice was soothing but the slight edge to his words suggested that he agreed with Arthur on that last point. Gwen didn't notice though, she was too busy wrapped up in her own thoughts.

"What can we do. I've seen people lose someone before and they snap out of it soon enough. But he's not. I've never seen anything like it. Even if he is feeling guilty and betrayed. So do we all."

"But it affects him most drastically. And he has a real reason to blame himself. But I think it goes deeper than that. He and Merlin were bound together by destiny. They were each other's perfect other half, like two sides of the same coin. Now Merlin's gone it's like Arthur has lost half of himself with him. None of us can possibly understand what that feels like. None of us can understand." His voice softened a bit.

"We just have to wait and see what he does. Now I'm sorry but I have to go. I still need to make some arrangement for the funeral." Gaius turned and swiftly walked away down the silent corridor, Gwen staring miserably at his retreating figure, unsure of what to do.

It was almost dusk by the time everything was prepared. In a normal case, a servant would be buried by their family in a quiet service just outside the city gates. But Merlin was no ordinary servant. The one thing Arthur had insisted on was that he was to be mourned in the manner of a true hero, no matter that there were only a few that knew that he truly was. Gwen and the knights thought that they had kept everything secret, but somehow the story leaked out.

"Merlin. He's dead. That's what I heard. The prince. Won't leave the room. The funeral. Tonight. In the courtyard. The _courtyard_? Yes, that's what I said. A hero's funeral. A _hero's_ funeral. But what did he do? How did he die? What happened? _What happened_?"

The whispers spread throughout the castle like wildfire and soon every person seemed to know what was to happen that night. So when the time came it was not just Gwen, Gaius and the knights that were standing around the funeral pyre, but what seemed like the entire population of the castle, along with at least half the villagers. And they had not just come for the show.

Wherever Merlin went he brought happiness. It wasn't intentional it just seemed to happen. It was as if he gave off his own personal sunlight, and brightened the lives of everyone he touched. Everyone who was standing in the crowded courtyard on that dark, gloomy evening, with the shadows creeping in over the walls, had a true reason to be there. It seemed incredible how many lives Merlin had touched, but that was just the way he was. It was a part of him. And they had all come to say their goodbyes.

But there was one thing missing. An obvious absence that was felt by everyone present. But no-one dared mention it as if it was a taboo, and to break it would be to break some sort of spell that was hanging over them. So they stayed silent and watched as the body was brought out and laid on the pyre, and the torch was lit. The flames seemed to dance in the steadily approaching night sending shadows flickering across the walls of the castle.

But here came another question. Who to light the pyre? In the end it was Gwen who took up the responsibility. For Gaius it was too painful. One of Merlin's worst fears had been to die on a pyre. Now it seemed that irony was having its cruel revenge, taking his body in flames. Gwen lowered the torch and watched as the wood caught alight, fire flickering into the night sky, the darkness fully upon them now. It created eerie patterns of shadow and light that danced on the faces of all those watching, and lit up the castle in a haunting glow. Sparks jumped into the night air, burning bright for a few seconds before being engulfed by the blackness.

Everyone was staring into the flames as they consumed the body of the man who had been so loved but had lost so much. Tears were trickling down Gwen's face and she was not the only one. Many eyes in the crowd were bright with tears, and those who weren't looked solemn and sad. The knights stood in a row, faces unreadable in the light of the dancing flame.

A whisper of "goodbye" seemed to rest on everyone's lips, and it echoed hauntingly through the courtyard like the voice of a ghost. Then it was gone and the courtyard fell into silence once again.

No-one noticed the figure, leaning up against a window in the upper level of the castle, staring down at all that was happening below. The flames lit up one side of his face, plunging the other side into shadow and darkness and creating a strange and unnerving look. He was so still that he could have been a statue, a stone carving that had rested that way forever. But then he moved and the firelight reflected the steely determination that resided in his eyes.

He turned from the window and strode away along the corridor, glad that he finally had a goal, a purpose. He slipped out of a side door so as not to pass the through the courtyard and made his way over to the stables, opening the door as quietly as he could and slipping inside. His horse was already saddled and ready to go, with food and provisions, but he was traveling light, so there were no blankets or other luxuries to be found. Only a single gleaming sword, with runes carved down the hilt, gleaming at the scabbard on the horses' side.

As he led his mare out of the stable, the horse next to it whinnied softly and tugged at her bridle as if wanting to come too. She always had before. Why not now? Arthur turned and looked at his best friend's horse, pain flaring in his eyes once again.

"You can't come. Not this time. He's not here."

Then he turned and led his mount out of the stables and into the night.

Gwen slowly turned away from the pyre and, along with Gaius and the other knights, she slipped away back towards the castle. It was as they neared the entrance that they first spotted the shadowy figure slip quietly into the stables and close the door. He emerged again a minute later, this time leading a horse behind him.

"Arthur." It was Gaius who recognised him first, but as soon as the name was uttered it became obvious to all who he was. What he was doing was another matter. Quickly, the group ran over to where he was standing, poised on the balls of his feet as if he was not sure whether to run or stay.

"What are you doing?" That was Leon. He has quickly taken in the provisions, the sword, the dark clothing and was coming to his own conclusions even as he spoke the words.

"Why didn't you come." Gwen's voice was full of anger her eyes bright with fury, and she looked as if she wanted to slap him there and then. "You weren't there. At your best friends funeral! You didn't even come to say goodbye."

"That's because it's not goodbye."

The words startled all of them into silence for a moment. In that moment Arthur reached out and swung himself into the saddle, making as if to leave. Percival reached out and grabbed onto the reins, preventing him from running.

"Arthur. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to ride into the woods and I'm going to find that sorcerer. I'm going to find him, speak to him, kill him if I have to. I don't care how long it takes or how far he runs." The determination that flared in Arthur's eyes was bright and furious, and in that moment they all knew there was nothing they could do or say that would change his mind.

"I'm going to bring Merlin back."

_To be continued…_

**Sooooo (peaks out from behind the sofa) how was it? As normal the reviews for the people who don't have an account (Or can't be bothered to log on. Don't worry I do it too!) are below so thanks for them. And again if I have missed replying to you just tell me about it and I will next time ( and again I totally blame it on my computer, which holds a personal grudge against me)And thanks to all you wonderful people who have reviewed, alerted and favourited. You are the reason this story is still going. And I'll see you at some point over the weekend when I update next.**

**Love you all. XXX**

**Till next time...**

**Cloud-dee ;)**

_**Ilovethestories- **_**Thanks! I'm glad you think they are in character and that you love my story. I'm touched. And I hope this chapter lives up to expectations...**

_**Sylvanara**_**- I was writing this at lunch and no-one could work up why I was so happy and depressed at the same time. Ah well, they already know I'm weird... But thanks for the review. And Merlin's sacrifice won't be in vain. Arthur won't visit Freya's lake but he will end up in a place we all know very well. And he will learn a thing or two while he's there...**

_**SilverMoon**_**-Thanks! But I can't answer that question. Do you really want me to give away the ending? You'll just have to wait and find out.**

_**Ellen**_**- Thanks! I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations!**

_**Anya**_**- Wow, thanks! I hope I have managed to answer all your questions in this chapter. And about the truth about Arthur's birth. I thought it would be too much to reveal it just now to Arthur. He's had a hard enough time as it is. But some ugly truths may come to light later in the story...**

_**Chloe**_**- Thanks! I hoped you enjoyed this one just as much.**

**Raph- Snap! I was **_**writing**_** this in lunch. My friend got really annoyed beacuse I got really sad, but wouldn't tell her why or let her read the chapter. So thanks for the review!**

_**Anymous**_**- Thanks! Is this soon enough for you? ;)**

_**Ve**_**- Sorry, but I have well and truly died of happiness. But don't worry, my cloud in heaven has got really great WiFi reception! And also, congrats. You were the only one who guessed I would bring the knights into this. So well done. And thanks!**

_**Mikeymoon**_**- Thanks! I know, poor Merlin. Poor Arthur. In fact poor everyone. I'm just so mean to all my characters. Oh well...**

_**SmileyMiley**_**-Thanks, it broke my heart too! But as for your question you'll just have to wait and see. **

_**Jaymie**_**- If you thought that last one was a cliff-hanger what about this one! Thanks for reviewing!**

_**M**_**- Yes I'm like you. I don't think Arthur sees merlin as a seperate person just an extension of himself. Thats why he takes it so badly when he dies. And as for the reveal, Gaius knows he needed to tell Arthur the truth to answer his questions. And as you can see Arthur was still in shock so his reaction was a little...different. he just couldn't process everything that had happened. So thanks and I hope you liked it.**

_**CM**_**- Wow, thanks! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so much. And I definatly will keep on updating as fast as I can. You deserve it! ( And I'm smiling right now because CM are my initials!)**

_**Loralei**_**- Ingenious! Wow, I love you at the moment! I hope you liked this chapter because it only gets better from here...**


	5. A Madman's Hope

A Madman's Hope

**Hello again. Sorry this chapter is a bit later than I was intending but life sort of caught up with me. I've been neglecting some kind of important things (like studying, eating and sleeping) to write this but it all sort of came back with a vengeance so I haven't had much time to write. But finally here it is! Once again, thanks to all the truly amazing people who have reviewed this. Your reviews were completely inspiring and made me shift and actually write this chapter. So thanks for that, you're the reason I'm not still crashed out on my desk refusing to move.**

**I was writing Gwaine into this chapter, and he is a character who has always fascinated me. In fact he is so cool he stole my computer (and my brain) and wrote his own one-shot, called His Princess. And no, I am not shamlessly self adversising or anything *Shifty eyes***

**So on with the chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

"_I'm going to ride into the woods and I'm going to find that sorcerer. I'm going to find him, speak to him, kill him if I have to. I don't care how long it takes or how far he runs." The determination that flared in Arthur's eyes was bright and furious, and in that moment they all knew there was nothing they could do or say that would change his mind._

"_I'm going to bring Merlin back."_

There was a shocked silence. No-one spoke, no-one moved, no-one even so much as breathed. The enormity of what Arthur had said was preventing them from even thinking about speech. What he was saying was mad. More than that it was completely insane. There was no possibility, not even the slightest chance of achieving what he hoped to do. It was impractical, implausible and completely impossible. But if it were true…

"Arthur, you can't." It was Gaius who spoke first, always logical and clearheaded, refusing to even let himself consider the possibility that maybe…

"Arthur he's gone. Please understand that. I know you miss him, we all do. But you have to let him go. He wouldn't want you to have false hope that you can bring him back." Gaius was concerned by the defiance that flared up in Arthur's eyes.

"He's not gone. He can't be. There has to be a way. There's always a way. That's what he told me. There's always a way. You never know until you've tried. He would want this. He would want to come back. He has to…"

"Arthur, please." This was Gwen, her previous anger gone, replaced with a patient sort of understanding, her voice like a mother speaking to a very small child, trying to explain in words he would understand. "We've all been hurt by this. But like Gaius said you have to let it go. Let Merlin rest in peace. If Gaius says there really is no way to bring him back then what's the use of such a fool's errand. Please Arthur. Just let Merlin go."

Gaius glanced away. He knew that there maybe was one way for Arthur to bring Merlin back. With Necromancy like Morgana had with Lancelot. But Arthur wouldn't know that and Gaius would never tell. Much as he wished with all his heart that he could have him back, Merlin wouldn't have wanted it like that. To become a shade of his former self, a shadow. And for Arthur, to look into his best friends eyes and see no recognition, no sign that he had ever been known at all, that would break him more surely than anything else had managed to do.

"NO!" Arthur's sharp words broke Gaius out of his thoughts and he turned back to the immediate problem.

"The sorcerer said I had failed destiny, yes? The only reason Merlin's dead is because I failed in some way. But he was really sorry I failed. The sorcerer. It's like with the unicorn." Here he turned to Gaius, the only one who would understand what he meant.

"Anhora, the keeper of the unicorns gave me three tests. I failed one of them but he didn't want to destroy Camelot so he gave me a second chance. It's just the same. I failed destiny, but I can get a second chance. If he just brings Merlin back I can put right whatever wrong I have committed and everything will be alright again." He seemed so animated, so incredibly sure of the truth in his words that Gaius almost believed him. Almost.

"Arthur, no." Gaius squashed the faint hope that was rising in his stomach with cold, hard logic and reason. "It's different this time. Anhora was a being of immense magical power and it took everything he had just to lift the curse on Camelot. And that's all it was. A curse. Merlin's dead. No sorcerer, no matter how powerful, can truly raise those who have passed on. Once they are gone, they are gone forever. There is nothing you can do to change that."

The fire that burned in Arthur's eyes was far from extinguished but he seemed to lose some of the burning hope that he had possessed a few minutes ago. But his voice was still strong and his determination as bright as ever.

"This sorcerer was stronger than Anhora. Stronger than anyone I've ever met before. I could _feel _his magic Gaius. If anyone can bring Merlin back he can. And you told me Merlin was part of my destiny. How can I fix destiny without him. He has to come back. He has to."

"No Arthur." Gwen voice was so soft it could have been lost among the darkness had everyone else not been so silent. "Please, just come back to the castle. You have to accept he's gone. When my father died I tried to think of every way I could to bring him back. But there was nothing I could do. There's nothing you can do either. It does no good to dwell on the impossible. We all loved Merlin but we have to let go. You have to let go. The kingdom needs you. Just let go, and one day it'll stop hurting. Then you can forgive yourself and just have Merlin as a wonderful memory. He would have wanted it like that"

"It'll never stop hurting." Arthur's voice, like Gwen's had dropped and was barely above a whisper. "I can't live with myself knowing it was my fault. Knowing I could have saved him. Knowing I never even tried. How can I accept I'll never see him again?"

"Arthur, tomorrow someone needs to be sent to Ealdor, to tell Hunith what has happened to her son. Go to her and tell her what a brave man her son was. Honour his memory in that way. Then you know you will have done all you can to let him rest in peace." Gaius hoped that Arthur would see the truth in his words, not just for his sake but for Hunith's. She would be inconsolable at the knowledge that her only son was gone. At least Arthur would have someone with which to share his grief, and Hunith would know it wasn't her fault.

"I can't." Arthur's voice broke on the last word, shame at the truth filling his every being. "How could I face her knowing it was me that did this? Knowing it was me that took her son away from her." His eyes filled with the shame and he seemed to crumple in on himself, losing the insane confidence he had possessed only a moment ago.

"Come back Arthur. Come back and let go." Gwen offered her hand and Arthur took it, sliding off his horse and following her back towards the castle. Gwaine grabbed the reins and lead the horse away, while the others followed their King. The group made their way slowly back up to the castle, the brief hope that had flared in their chests gone, replaced by the sadness of the knowledge that there was nothing on heaven or earth that they could possibly do. But no-one noticed the spark of that insane determination still burning in Arthur's eyes.

Midnight. The moon was bright in the sky, casting an eerie silver glow over the silent castle, revealing everything to the smallest detail. All was silent and all was still. But something was moving now. A dark shape slipping quietly through the courtyard and into the stables. The figure fumbled slightly in the darkness trying to untie the reins of his horse, who was snorting nervously at the strange hour of her master's calling. He was almost finished, almost ready to leave, when…

"Going somewhere?"

Arthur spun around, he reins leaving his hand and a sword replacing them in a matter of seconds. A shape moved in the shadows at the back of the stall, and he could make out a figure sauntering towards him.

"I figured you'd come. Sooner or later." The figure stepped through a patch of moonlight and his face was lit up with that eerie silver glow.

"Gwaine?"

"Who else? The figure smiled. Not his usual mischievous smile but a deadly serious one, the smile of a man with a single purpose.

"If you're going to try and stop me…" Arthur warned him, his sword still drawn and pointing at his friend.

"Stop you. Why would I do that? No Arthur. I'm coming with you." Gwaine's face was filled with the same slightly insane determination that was alight in Arthur's eyes. "This is your fault, and I haven't forgiven you for that. But unlike the others, I'm not going to sit back and accept he's gone forever. And it looks like you won't either."

Arthur nodded, a new hope filling his face. If Gwaine believed there could be a way, then maybe, just maybe, there was a chance.

"I've got your provisions over there." Gwaine jerked his head towards the back of the stall where, sure enough, the bag Arthur had packed earlier that evening was resting. "The horses are saddled and we have to leave now, before the dawn patrol gets up." He grabbed the reins of the horse standing next to him and swung himself into the saddle. Arthur followed suit and they slipped quietly out into the deserted courtyard.

It was only when they were out in the open, bathed in the moonlight, that Arthur could see exactly whose horse Gwaine was riding. Not his own black mount but a smaller, more familiar brown mare.

"Why…"

Gwaine glanced down, already understanding the question. "She refused to be left behind. It's funny how much horses can be like their masters. And anyway, she'll want to see him again just as much as we do."

"And she will see him again?"

"She will."

Arthur smiled for the first time in days, then dug his heels into his horse's flank, urging it forward. Gwaine followed suit and together they galloped out of the courtyard and into the night.

"They've gone." A figure turned from a darkened window in the upper section of the castle, looking back at the man that was standing behind her.

"You don't look surprised."

"Neither do you."

Gwen stared at Gaius for a long time, thinking hard before she replied.

"I guess I just knew he would never let it go. Not until he'd at least tried." Her voice changed to one of a sort of desperate hope and longing.

"You don't think that he could do it do you? That maybe…"

"No." Gaius' voice was filled with a sad sort of finality. "No-one can bring back the dead Gwen. Not even Arthur."

Gwen sighed and turned back to the window, watching the place where her husband had disappeared off into the darkness. Both the Queen and the Physician watched the window and prayed. Prayed that when Arthur failed he would be able to stay strong, to stay the king and the man that they both knew. Prayed that he would come home. And though they would never admit it to each other, they both were trying to dampen the rising fire of hope that had begun to burn throughout both of their souls.

Arthur and Gwaine rode throughout the night. It was only when the sky began to lighten Gwaine called to Arthur that they needed to rest and Arthur grudgingly agreed, that they stopped and began to make camp. They both worked in silence, avoiding eye contact and refusing to speak. Finally it was Gwaine who broke the silence.

"I still haven't forgiven you, you know."

"I know." Arthur's voice was filled with a sad sort of understanding.

They lapsed into silence for a few more minutes, before Arthur spoke again.

"You haven't forgiven me…"

"Of course I haven't. You murdered my friend. However sorry you may be it won't make me hate you any less."

"Please Gwaine." Arthur's eyes were filled with a deep, broken sadness that rested in his very soul. "There is nothing on earth that could make you hate me more than I hate myself. But if you hate me so much, and I have no doubt that you do, why did you come?"

"You even have to ask?" Arthur shrugged so Gwaine continued.

"For the same reason you did. For Merlin. It's always been for Merlin. That quest into the perilous lands, I came for him not you. When we fought the immortal army that was all for him too. I help him even when you give up hope, or faith in people. I help you for him. Even in that first bar fight when I met you…well actually that was probably because I was mostly drunk at the time but every other time since it was for him. He puts up with so much from you, and from us, and he still smiles and gets on with it. He never asks to be thanked. And now it turns out he could have squashed us with one finger, but he still stuck with us. He was the first person who became my friend, the first person I ever trusted. The first person I would die for. That's why I'm coming with you. For him. It's always been for him."

Arthur's face was unreadable but he and Gwaine seemed to have reached a new level of understanding. They both were here for one reason and one reason alone. They were getting Merlin back.

"We'll cook some food, and then head off again. We'll ride all day if we have to. Though I doubt it, the others may come after us and try to stop us. We have to try. They don't understand but we have to try."

"They may understand more than you think." Arthur frowned, his brow creasing in confusion.

"When will you learn it's not all about you? When will you learn there are other people hurting too? They all loved Merlin, in their own way. Especially Gwen and Gaius. Gwen was his friend long before you, when you were still being an arrogant prat." Gwaine noticed Arthur flinch at the use of those words but carried on regardless. "And Gaius had raised him for over four years. They're hurting just as much as you and I. They're just not insane enough to go on a quest, with no destination, no idea what we're doing, hunting a sorcerer who can disappear into thin air to try to make him do the impossible."

"And yet you still came."

"I came because I never give up. Remember what I told you just before you knighted me. I think we've got no chance. But I wouldn't miss it for the world. The same applies here. And I came because I know that somehow, I don't know how but I know we will, somehow we are going to get Merlin back."

Arthur nodded his agreement. Gwaine may not have forgiven him, he may not have forgiven himself, but at least they had hope. And unexplainable, madman's hope but it was hope none the less. After some food and a quick rest, they both swung themselves into the saddle once again and prepared to leave.

"Arthur?" Arthur spun round in his saddle and regarded the other man with a cool, steely determination.

"I hate to ask this, and ruin the air of mystery and all that, but where exactly are we going?" Gwaine's question was a valid one but Arthur already had an answer prepared.

"The Valley of the Fallen Kings. It's where we last saw the sorcerer so it's our only lead. Also, my father always told me there was something cursed and magical about that place. If we want to find a sorcerer,that seems like a good place to start."

"And if he's not there?"

"He will be. I have a feeling he wants to talk to me just as much as I want to talk to him."

"And what if he doesn't. What if he refuses to bring Merlin back? What if he can't?"

"Then I'll kill him." A kind of determined cruelty seemed to flare in Arthur's eyes and for a second it was not Arthur but Uther that was sitting upon his horse, ready to blame anyone else for his own mistakes to ease his guilt. But then it was gone and it was just Arthur again. He swung his horse around and galloped away, Gwaine close on his heels.

Behind them, concealed by a group of trees, the man they had been so desperately searching for shook his head in despair. Arthur had not learned. He did not understand. Destiny was still disrupted. But he was heading for the Valley of the Fallen Kings. That was good. That gave him an opportunity that he would not get anywhere else. A place where he could make Arthur see. Truly see.

The man turned and walked, making no noise as if he were a shadow. He slipped through the trees and into the forest and, after a few seconds seemed to disappear altogether, like he had vanished into thin air. But maybe he had just been lost among the darkness of the ancient woods.

Wind whipped in Arthur's face and his horse gasped for breath beneath him. It needed a rest, they both did. But he would not rest, would not stop until he had reached his destination. Gwaine seemed to agree, he was keeping pace beside Arthur without fail, the branches whipping past their faces as they galloped through the forest.

Arthur knew where he was going of course. But he felt a deep set feeling of unease as he approached the mouth of the valley. It may just be an instinct. A natural reaction to all the horror stories he had been told about this place as a young child. But then again maybe not. Even his horse seemed to feel it, and as they drew closer and closer to the mouth of the valley, it became more and more nervous, jumping and whinnying as if to warn him of some unseen danger.

Gwaine was feeling much the same. There was a reason no-one travelled here unless it was absolutely necessary. There was something evil about that place. Wait, no. Not evil. More like powerful, and unknown, foreign power that repelled most people from going near. The exception seemed to be sorcerers. They were drawn to that place, like moths to a flame. Or at least they had been before they had been almost completely wiped out by the tyrannical reign of Arthur's father.

Both horses slowed to a walk as they approached the great rock walls that marked out the entrance to this ancient place. It didn't seem possible that only days ago they had been chasing the same man they were now desperately trying to find, intent on his immediate demise. Now they needed his help.

Looming walls of rock towered over them both as they slowly made their way into the dreaded valley. The horses skittered and snorted nervously, and both Arthur and Gwaine were tense, expecting an attack at any moment. But none came. They made their way over to the place they had stood in just four days ago, and glanced around, not knowing what they were expecting to see.

Whatever it was they didn't see it. The place was deserted, the only noise a faint rustle as the wind brushed through the leaves of the trees. Gwaine's eyes flickered nervously back and forth, his hand grasping the hilt of his sword, knuckles white on the handle. But Arthur seemed totally relaxed as he stepped forward, arms outstretched.

"I'm here." His voice seemed to magnify as it bounced between the walls and echoed back to the apprehensive pair.

"I've come. Now speak to me. I promise I can fix this." There was no reply. Arthur's tone took on a new sense of desperation, knowing it was vital to see this man now. If they didn't there was no hope. He would travel to the ends of the earth to find him, but he knew his heart of hearts that if the man chose not to show himself now, all would be lost. "You said I failed destiny, I've come to make amends. To do whatever I can to right whatever wrong I've committed. Please. I need your help."

Nothing but silence greeted his words. Together they waited, praying for a miracle, for the man they most desperately needed to come to them and fix everything. But nothing moved in that great, silent valley.

"Arthur, no-one's coming." Gwaine's shoulders drooped as he realised the impossibility of their quest. Why would the sorcerer come to find the people who had only days ago been hunting him like an animal through these very woods. He wouldn't. He would never come. They had been running a fool's errand on a madman's hope. There was no miracle, not this time.

"He will. He will come." Arthur's voice really was desperate now, as if he was finally realising the hopelessness of the situation. He would never find the sorcerer. He would never get Merlin back. And he would never be able to live with the guilt of knowing he had killed his best friend.

"Please." There was no more grand shouting, only a single whisper, the last hope of a broken man addressed to a silent forest.

Though neither of them had noticed, the wind that had been brushing the leaves had died, leaving only silence in its wake. No animals moved in the undergrowth and no birds sang from the trees. Arthur and Gwaine had their backs facing the great slab of rock that they had first cornered the sorcerer against what seemed like so long ago so they didn't see what happened next. But they did both spin around as a voice boomed out, echoing around the valley from the rocks high above them.

"Arthur Pendragon. I've been expecting you."

When hope is lost, all is lost with it. But while we still have hope, we still hold a chance to redemption.- Unknown

**So there it is! I'm sorry that the chapter didn't really have much excitment in it but I needed it to move the story on. Don't worry, the next chapter has tonnes to make up. Also I realise this has a lot of dialogue in it but again, I felt I needed it to move the story on. So what did you think?**

**Also, has anyone guessed what the sorcerer's plan is yet. In fact has anyone guessed who the sorcerer is. I keep calling him a sorcerer but Merlin = the most powerful sorcerer/warlock to ever have existed. This guy killed Merlin. Ergo, he is not a sorcerer. Or a warlock. Can anyone guess who he really is?**

**Finally, the replies to all the reviews I couldn't reply to before are below.**

**Massive thanks to everyone who has reviewed (and could you possibly find it deep within your heart to do it again and make me extremely happy, hint hint)**

**I'll post the next chapter on Tuesday or Wednesday.**

**See you then...**

**Cloud-dee **

**P.S- I had a minor freak out when I heard the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera yesterday. It literally sounds like it was written for this story from Arthur's point of veiw. Seriously. Go check it out, it's scary.**

_**wildchild17-**_** Wow! Possibly the best story you've ever read. You have no idea how insanely happy that makes me. Like a sing and dance round the street doing a conga kind of happy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as you enjoyed the others.**

**Anya- My thoughts exactly! Arthur really hasn't learned anything yet, he just wants his friend back. He still doesn't realise **_**why **_**Merlin died so he is going about the wrong way to fix it. You'll find out the consequences for that in the next chapter. But anyway thanks for the review. You totally read my mind.**

**Yay- Thanks! I love Gwaine too because someone really needed to punch Arthur and he was the perfect person to do it because he's just cool like that. You'll find out what Arthur has to go through next chapter. And the question is, **_**will**_** he ever get his BFF back.**

**NikkiJustTalk- Thanks! I just always felt Arthur sees Merlin as just an extension of himself, because he is the only person who has never left him. So when Merlin's gone, Arthur loses half of himself with him. **

**Dikaonwuzug- Thanks! Was this quick enough for you? I hope the suspense is continuing to build. Just wait for the next chapter...**

**M- Don't worry, you're not being nitpicky, them burning the body was intentional. It just proves that Arthur's hope has basically no chance but still he hopes. And I totally agree with you, it sucks to be Gwen right now. But like you said, that's just the show, two sides of the same coin and all. I was considering taking that part out because it sounded kind of too slashy for a no slash fic but if they can say it in the show I can say it here! And finally, they didn't let Arthur go off alone. But he did it anyway because he's **_**Arthur. **_**But Gwaine tagged along so it's all OK. Anyway thanks for the review, yours are always so in-depth and I really look forward to them.**

**Pagen- Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can (Namely when I've written it and slept ;) See you then.**

**Asdf- Thanks! Sorry you didn't see much in this chapter but I promise it's all coming in the next one!**

**Jaymie- More is coming! I'm so glad you liked it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much. Thanks for the review!**


	6. The Truth In Crystal

The Truth in Crystal

**Hi everyone. This AN will be really short because I have a lot of stuff I can only say when you've read the chapter (and make sure you read all of the end AN because I have a surprise for you at the end!). But I can say, as always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed alerted and favourited this. It's so inspiring for me and it really helps me get on and write. **

**But you're obviously not here to read my author's notes so have a chapter instead. As I last thing, I realised I have never put a disclaimer on my stories. So here's one to make up for it.**

**Disclaimer- Yes I actually do own Merlin. This is in fact, the super secret script for series 5, but instead of keeping it super secret I decided to put it on the internet instead. Obviously.**

_Arthur and Gwaine had their backs facing the great slab of rock that they had first cornered the sorcerer against what seemed like so long ago so they didn't see what happened next. But they did both spin around as a voice boomed out, echoing around the walls from high above them._

"_Arthur Pendragon. I've been expecting you."_

Gwaine's sword was out of its sheath in a matter of seconds, but Arthur made no move to reach for his, he only raised his hands slightly to show he meant no harm. Cautiously stepping forward he addressed the man high above him.

"I have no wish to hurt you. Please, I need your help. I come only to ask…"

"I know what you come to ask." The man's face was unreadable but his hand tightened around the staff he carried in his hand, his knuckles white on the ancient carved wood.

"I know why you have come. But tell me this. Why should I grant your wish? To what benefit would it hold for me to give you what you most desire. You who have hunted me and persecuted me, and killed off my kin without a second thought. Why should I help you?"

Arthur felt his heart drop slightly, but he stood strong and glared up at the man before him, his eyes alight with fury.

"You speak of me killing off your kin, but it is not only I that is guilty of that crime. Merlin was a sorcerer just like you. He was a being of magic and a creature of the old religion, just like you. And you killed him. So please. Just bring him back. Please bring him back."

Silence reined, a deepened hush as the whole world prepared for the next words that would change everything. The words that could affect the rest of history forever. The words that would either save everything, or bring it all down in a crashing finality.

"No."

Arthur felt his heart drop out of his chest. His breathing seemed to stop and he felt bitter hatred rise up in his heart for the man before him. How could he refuse to save one of his own kind. How could anyone seem so unfazed by the prospect of destroying all of his hopes and dreams in one single word?

"YOU!" Arthur spat out the word and made to attack the sorcerer, to make him pay for refusing Arthur's request. Gwaine seemed to have the same idea as him, making as if to climb the cliff to reach the monster that was standing before them. But he only got a few steps before he seemed to hit a wall. An invisible shield, a barrier that preventing him from going any further.

"You're just like your father Arthur Pendragon." The words were said with the deepest contempt. "You seek only to blame others for your own mistakes. It was not I that killed Emrys but you. You were the one that failed destiny. Merlin's death was the only way to make you see what you and your father have done. To see the world which you have created and to try to make you change. But it seems even that has not changed your ways. You are only grieving for the loss of your friend. You have not learned. And before destiny is put right you must learn. It is the only way."

Arthur was still struggling against the invisible wall that held him at bay, desperate to reach the man above him and make him pay for all he had done. He glared up, not fully understanding what he had just heard. "What have I not learned? Why can't you just bring him back? Please, I'll do anything it takes to fix whatever it is that I've done wrong, just tell me and bring him back."

A deep, regretful sadness seemed to settle in the eyes of the sorcerer before him. "You still do not understand. You still do not see what is clear to all." The man raised his staff and Arthur stepped back and reached for his sword, expecting an attack. But none came. The man simply motioned for Arthur to follow him and began to make his way down the wall of rock. When he reached the bottom he looked Arthur full in the eyes and spoke.

"To right destiny you must learn that magic can be a force for good. You must learn that you cannot execute people for what they were born to be. You must learn all that has been sacrificed for you. You must not make the mistakes of your father and your sister, blaming only others for the misery that they have caused." He turned and began to make his way along a narrow path between two towering walls of rock.

"Come Arthur and I will show you. Come and seek the truth."

Arthur hesitated, not knowing whether to follow or not. He did not seek the truth. All he wanted was to have his friend back. But he figured that he better play along for now, until he could find the right opportunity to strike. He glanced back towards Gwaine, only to see the other knight shaking his head, his eyes full of the deepest mistrust. He was even more wary of this sorcerer than Arthur, and following him seemed to be the last thing they should do. But when Arthur turned and stepped after the retreating figure, Gwaine followed, knowing there was nothing more he could do but stay on his guard.

The man led them through the moss-covered rocks and looming trees, to the back of the cliff he had previously been standing on. Here he turned and gestured for Arthur to go inside. Peering at the rockface, Arthur could see a gash, a split made many thousands of years ago, leading into the unknown. He hesitated for a moment, then slipped inside.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that met his eyes. And he knew he was not the only one, as he heard Gwaine's startled gasp as the other knight entered the cave a few seconds behind him. It was unlike anything Arthur had ever seen before. Glittering on the wall of the caves were literally thousands of crystals. They seemed to light up the whole cave with twisted, warped reflections, transforming the sunlight into an alien glow of mystery.

And it was not just the crystals that made Arthur stop and stare. The cave literally radiated power, the energy rolling off the crystals like waves smashing into the shore. It was power like Arthur had never felt before. It was old. More than that it was ancient, as old as the world itself. And so strong, like a sleeping dragon, that would any minute awake and crush them all with its might.

Both Arthur and Gwaine stood, transfixed by the sight, so they did not notice as the sorcerer slipped into the cave behind them. But they did notice as the sunlight from outside was cut off and they were left trapped inside the cavern. Both knights spun around, swords drawn, pointing towards the man behind them. Though there was no sunlight reaching them anymore, the whole cave was still lit up with a strange unnatural glow that seemed to emanate from the crystals, bathing their faces in something similar to moonlight.

"Welcome to the Crystal Cave."

"Why have you brought me here?" Arthur was on edge, tension ruling his every nerve. Every instinct he possessed screamed at him to run, to fight, to do anything he could to escape this prison. It was wrong. Everything in here felt wrong and evil. It felt like magic.

"What does this have to do with Merlin."

"Everything." For the first time in his life Arthur was scared. This man was like the cave, ancient and powerful, his words seeming to echo around the cavern as if to bring them even more power and meaning.

"This is the birthplace of magic, the beginning of the very world itself. All creatures of magic began here and it is from here that they draw their power. This place is where magic began, and as long as it remains, magic can never die. But to you that is of no importance. To you, the cave is the key to knowledge. To the truth. This is the place where you can _see_. Look Arthur. Look and see and understand."

"How do I know you're not lying to me?" Arthur's voice was filled with mistrust and fear, though he was trying to hide it. "How do I know you won't try to kill me like every other sorcerer I've met." Gwaine was already looking around, staring into the crystals.

"I don't see anything." Like Arthur his voice was laced with mistrust and he glared accusingly at the sorcerer as if challenging him to explain.

"That is because these visions are for Arthur's eyes and for Arthur's eyes alone. Only he will be permitted to see the truth of himself. And only if he chooses to look. And he does have a choice." Here the sorcerer turned again to address Arthur.

"If you so wish you can walk away from this place and never return. But know if you do, you will be haunted forever by the wonder of what you may have discovered had you chosen to look. Had you chosen to see. And if you do walk away from this place then you will never be able to return and this place will be lost to your memory. And the last hope of seeing your friend again will be lost with it. So be warned Arthur. Choose carefully."

Arthur wanted to walk away. Wanted to leave and never return. But he couldn't. It was like there was some invisible force holding him there, refusing to let him leave. And if this really was the only way to get Merlin back…

"What will I see. If I look, what will I see."

"Everything. But to start with you will see the pain your laws have inflicted on others. And so that you will truly understand you will see what they have done to your best friend."

And though he tried with all his might to prevent himself, Arthur turned and looked deep into the heart of the crystals.

Two people were standing in a house, not that it could be described as a house, more a hovel. The wind whistled through the cracks in the ceiling and the door and the fire provided little warmth to the occupants. But they didn't seem to notice. There seemed to be a happy glow in the atmosphere, a warmth that spread throughout the whole house, filling it with love and comfort.

The two people were wrapped up in their own little world, love filling their eyes and contentment written on every feature. The man was tall, dark and strong looking, the woman smaller with deep, kind brown eyes. It was such a peaceful scene that for a moment it seemed that nothing in the world was wrong. But in a second the peace was shattered as the door crashed open and a woman rushed in, her hair and eyes wild and terrified.

"Balinor, Hunith, they're coming."

The change in the atmosphere was instantaneous. Both people jumped to their feet, terror filling their eyes.

"How did they find you? I thought you were safe here?" It was only now that Arthur recognised Merlin's mother, over twenty years younger, but his mother none the less. So that meant the man must be…

"He's never going to stop." The hate that filled Balinor's eyes was deep and terrible. "Uther will never stop hunting me. He will never leave me in peace." He turned to Hunith, grasping her by the hand. "I have to leave. They can't find me here, they'll kill you." Hunith nodded as if she had already worked this out for herself.

"Here. I'll pack some food, some clothes and you can head into the woods for a few days. Just give me a second."

"Hunith there's no time." This was the woman who had warned them of the danger. She was obviously terrified, but loyalty to her friend kept her in place. "Someone in the next village tipped them off he was here. They're crossing the eastern plain as we speak. I only know because Johnny, Mary's son was grazing cattle up the hill and he was told by one of his friends in the nearby village. They'll be here in an hour, maybe less."

She turned to Balinor. "Please, you have to leave now. If you don't, we could all die. Just run. Run and don't stop running. It's like you said, they're never going to stop hunting you. Please don't endanger other people as well."

Balinor nodded and turned back to Hunith, sorrow framing his face.

"I'll come back, I promise. One day, when it's safe for me I'll come back. Until then just know I love you." Then he turned and sprinted out of the door and into the darkness. Hunith stood, alone, framed in the light from a single candle, watching her love leave her for the last time.

And then the scene changed.

This time, it was still the same house, but with two women sitting by the fire, shawls wrapped around their bodies to protect them from the chill that was seeping through the walls. The smaller one moved, and Arthur noticed her belly was large and swollen, round with a child. The other woman put her arms around Hunith and Arthur recognised her as the woman who had warned Balinor to flee. She looked tired and haggard, as did Hunith, her eyes red and puffy, circled with dark rings from lack of sleep. Hunith looked just as bad as she did, but she was smiling, rubbing her belly and crooning softly to the baby inside.

"I love you, my baby. I love you now and I'll love you even more when you're born. You'll grow big and strong and then when your father comes home…"

"Hunith." Hunith's friend seemed exasperated, as though she had said this many times before. "When will you just accept he can't come back? It'll never be safe for him and he won't want to endanger you by returning. Just forget about him and get on with your life."

"Of course he's coming back." Hunith's voice was sharp and determined. "Uther won't hunt him forever. And when he stops Balinor will come home. He has to. If not for me then at least for the child."

"Hunith. He loves you with all his heart. I could see that. But he can't come home. And he doesn't even know you have a child."

"Then it'll be a lovely surprise for him, when he comes. My little boy." The happy smile returned to her face and she resumed rubbing her stomach, love bright in her eyes.

"You're sure it'll be a boy then."

"Of course. I was thinking of calling him Balinor, after his father…"

"Hunith you can't!"

"I know, I know. It's too dangerous. But I just know he's going to be special. So I want to give him a special name, something that'll be remembered."

"Any ideas?" Both the two women were smiling now, at the thought of the baby that was still to come into their lives.

"Merlin. I think I'll call him Merlin."

And the scene changed again.

"Merlin!" Hunith was towering over a tiny, black haired boy, fury written over every corner of her face. "You must never do that again. Promise me you'll never do that again!"

"But mother…" Merlin couldn't have been more than five or six years old and painfully thin, his cheekbones protruding sharply through his face.

"Martin was being mean to me. He called me a…a…bastard. And Will punched him for it, but he punched Will back harder so I had to stop him. It wasn't my fault honest."

"Oh Merlin I know." Hunith knelt down and hugged her son, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I know it's hard but you have to promise me not to use your magic again. It's dangerous, do you understand that. If someone found out they could report you. And then someone would come and take you away and you'd never see me again. Is that really what you want?"

Younger Merlin shook his head, his lower lip jutting out as if he were about to burst into tears. Hunith hugged him harder, not wishing to burden such a young child with such a huge responsibility but having no choice.

"Just keep it as our secret Merlin. You have to keep it a secret. Please, do it for me."

"But _why _mother." Merlin's large blue eyes were pleading for answers Hunith couldn't give. "You say I'm not a monster but everyone else says magic is evil. What has it done to make people hate it so much? Why do I have to hide all the time?"

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry. But there's nothing I can say."

And again the scene changed.

This time Arthur was not standing in the cramped cottage in Ealdor many years ago. This time he was in a familiar place, Gaius' workroom, with a familiar face staring back at him. For a second Arthur couldn't move, he couldn't even think. Merlin was staring straight back at him, not a child that he had never known, but Merlin, exactly as Arthur remembered him, right down to the smallest detail.

"Arthur, please. There's something you need to know."

For a second, Arthur was sure Merlin was talking to him, and he opened his mouth to reply, to tell his friend how much he had missed him and how glad he was to have him back. But his hopes were crushed a second later when Merlin turned away, muttering to himself.

"No, that's not right. It has to be right." Again he turned to where Arthur was standing and again Arthur had the unnerving feeling that Merlin was speaking directly to him.

"Arthur, listen. You have to stop this. Please. There's something I need to tell you. Arthur, I'm a…"

"Merlin!" Arthur hadn't noticed as Gaius had walked into the room, but he spun round as the older man came striding over towards him. For a second Arthur thought he was going to walk straight into him, but instead he passed straight through, as if Arthur was nothing more than air. It was one of the most unsettling things Arthur had ever experienced.

"Please don't tell me you are seriously considering revealing yourself to Arthur. _Not now_. Not in light of everything that's just happened."

Merlin, like Arthur had spun towards his guardian, but his eyes were bright with determination.

"I have to Gaius. I can't let Arthur do this. I can't let him execute another innocent man, just for practicing a few spells. Maybe if I tell him about me he'll listen. Maybe I can change his mind."

"No Merlin you can't." Gaius was equally determined, authority ruling his every word. "It's too soon. Too soon after Uther's death. Too soon after the last magical attack on Camelot. To reveal yourself now would be paramount to suicide. Arthur is even more mistrustful of magic than he has ever been before. Do not throw away all you can gain for the sake of one man."

It was only now that Arthur realised when this event must have taken place. It was still in the past, but only by a few months. Soon after Morgana's latest attack on Camelot, a rumour of a man practicing enchantments had reached the court. Arthur, of course, had investigated, and when the rumour had turn out to be true, he had arranged for the man to be executed the next day.

"Gaius! How can I stand by and watch my kind be needlessly killed, when I know that I can save them? When I know I have the power to stop this? How could I stand and do nothing as my kin are murdered by my best friend? If I tell Arthur, maybe I can change his mind. How many lives could I save if I can just make Arthur see the truth?"

"Please Merlin, no. One day you will show Arthur. One day he will understand and you can fulfil your destiny. But it has to be the right day. In light of recent events you must be even more careful about your secret. Another betrayal now will break Arthur more surely than anything else can achieve. Especially if it comes from you. You must be patient. You can save a life today and sacrifice your own, along with hundreds of others. Or you can wait for another day, when the time is right, and save them all."

"But I won't be saving them all." Merlin's voice was filled with the deepest bitterness and regret. "How many people have I allowed die for destiny? For Arthur? How many lives could I have saved, but I chose to stand by and watch them die? How can I wait for _one day_? How much longer can I live like a shadow, knowing I have the power to stop it, but being powerless none the less?"

Gaius sighed and put his arms around the boy, understanding filling his eyes. "I know how hard it is Merlin. Remember it happened to me too. In the Great Purge I had to stand by and watch my friends burn. I had to listen to their screams and know that I could have tried to save them. I didn't. But by staying by Uther's side, I saved many more lives that would have been otherwise lost. I know it doesn't seem like it now. But in the end, I promise, it will be worth it. It is all for the greater good. It's all for destiny."

"I wish I never had a destiny." Merlin was no longer angry, just sad, lost and so very, very sad. "I wish it was someone else who has to do this. Sometimes I feel like I'm being torn in half. Like I have to choose a side, like I have to save magic and lose everything, or stand against it and watch it die." The last thing Arthur saw was the look of heart crushing sadness that haunted the eyes of his best friend. Then, all became black.

Arthur gasped, dragging himself back through the dense fog of memories and into the cold sharp reality. Though he hadn't realised it he had fallen to his knees, and was now gasping on the floor of the cave, Gwaine watching him with astonishment in his eyes. Shakily, Arthur stood up, gasping for breath.

"What _was_ that?"

"That, Arthur, was a glimpse into the life of your friend. The life that you forced him to live. Without you he would have been raised in the luxury of a castle, free to be recognised as the talented person that he was, with no fear or doubt. But he was instead forced to live a life of poverty and secrets, lies and deceit, all because of you. This was your fault."

Arthur's face twisted into a look of incredulity. "How can that possibly be my fault? How can I be to blame for what happened to him. I cannot be blamed for his father using magic and my father hunting him down. All that happened before I could even talk. And as for the sorcerer I executed, he was breaking the law. I had no choice. I was only upholding peace in my kingdom. Merlin hates to see anyone die, no matter how dreadful their crime. He would have done that for anyone." Arthur was trying to convince himself more than anyone. He had been deeply unsettled by what he had seen, but his mind had still not changed.

"Arthur, do you really not know why the Great Purge was started. No idea why the laws you claim to uphold were put in place? Do you really have no idea at all? Have you not ever wondered of the events that led to the slaughter of thousands? That forced Balinor to flee from his love and his unborn son? That caused hundreds to be executed by first your father and now you, under the pretence of evil. Are you really that naïve?"

"I know why it happened. Magic killed my mother. It was shown for the evil it is and my father swore to save anyone else from being hurt by it like he had."

"You fool." The sorcerer's eyes burned with anger and for a moment Arthur thought that he would be incinerated, reduced to ash by the power of the loathing that was focused on him. "Your father loved magic. He welcomed it with open arms. He used it to give him a son. It is not magic that is evil it was your father."

"That's not true!" Arthur was almost as angry as the sorcerer, defiance clouding his judgment, refusing to believe the truth in his words. "Magic took my mother. My father would never…he wouldn't…"

But even as the words left his mouth he felt the inescapable pull of the crystals drawing him in, and he couldn't stop himself as he was sucked back into their depths.

This time he was in a familiar place, the throne room in the hall of Camelot. But it was different, hundreds of little changes that told him this was not the place as he knew it. This was confirmed when he turned round and found himself facing his own father, alive and well, younger that Arthur had ever seen him before. He was animated and excited, talking with a woman, dressed in red, who was standing solemnly beside him.

"So it's possible then. You can do it." Uther's face was alive with happiness but the woman behind him was deadly serious. It was only now that Arthur recognised her. She was the woman who had tried to kill him in the cave so many years ago. Nimueh, Gaius had called her.

"It can be done Uther but be warned, there will be a price to pay." Her voice was filled with caution, but Uther was not paying the slightest bit of attention.

"I will pay whatever price is needed. I must have a son, and heir to carry on the Pendragon line. Ygraine agrees. We will pay any price that is required. As long as I will have a son."

"Uther." The warning in Nimueh's voice increased but like before Uther took no heed. "This is not something to be taken lightly. The price you pay will be a heavy one. I am not so sure you will be ready to pay it. Remember the balance of the world must be restored."

But Uther was too caught up in his own happiness to listen to the sorceress at his side. He seemed to be deaf to her warnings; the only thing that seemed to reach him was the fact that he would finally get his wish.

"All I wish is to have a son Nimueh. Just do that for me. Do it now and you will be greatly rewarded. Gold, jewels, anything you wish. Do it now and you will have power beyond your wildest dreams. You are dismissed."

Nimueh bowed and turned to walk out of the room, gliding down the aisle like a ghost. But about half way down she stopped, turning back to her king with an unreadable look in her eyes.

"I will do your bidding Uther Pendragon. But just remember one thing. Be careful what you wish for." Then she turned away and swept out of the room, the great wooden doors swinging shut behind her.

The scene changed. It was the same setting, the same room, with the same people, but the atmosphere couldn't have been more different. Instead of the joy filled warmth that had occupied the room moments ago, was now replaced by and ice cold fury, that seemed to creep into Arthur's bones and freeze his heart.

"You killed her." It could only be at most a year since the previous scene had taken place, but Uther seemed to have aged at least ten. His eyes were raw with grief, and his face was filled with that cold fury that Arthur knew was reserved only for the most evil of crimes.

"You murdered my wife."

"No Uther, you did." Nimueh was standing opposite him and, unlike Uther, she didn't seem to have changed at all. She was just as cold, just as unemotional as before, but in her eyes there seemed to be a spark of fury beginning to grow. "I told you there would be a price to pay but you didn't listen. You told me you were willing to pay anything, _anything,_ for a son. I told you to be careful what you wished for but you didn't take heed. Now you are paying the price for your mistake."

Uther's eyes regarded the woman before him with the deepest loathing, a hatred that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. "You have killed my wife. You have betrayed my trust. You are evil. All of you kind are evil. I hope you all burn in hell. But since I can't make sure of that, I give you a promise. I will not rest until my wife is avenged and every stinking sorcerer is wiped from this earth forever. I will not sleep until magic is crushed and the world is rid of your kind so my son can live in a world free from your deception. Know that and when you hear the screams of you kin burning, know it was you, and you alone that caused it."

Nimueh's face twisted into a mask of hatred. "Then I will make you a promise in return _my king_. Know that from this day forward, you will never be rid of magic. It will haunt your kingdom and destroy your soul. Know that whenever you turn your back, magic will be waiting. And know that no matter how many innocents you slaughter in your quest to ease your guilt, you will never be rid of the knowledge that it was you, and only you,that can be held responsible for the death of your beloved wife."

In a flash of steel Uther drew his sword, ready to run the witch through. But before he even had the chance to take one step, she was already gone, swept away in a gust of magic and leaving him alone in the great, empty room.

This time, when Arthur regained his sense of reality he was on his hands and knees, heart pounding and head racing. It couldn't be true. It couldn't. But deep in his heart he knew that it was. His father was responsible for the death of his mother. He had been lying to him all these years. It was his fault. But it was also magic's.

"Now do you see." Arthur was dragged back from his thoughts by the voice of the sorcerer who was standing over him. "Now do you see that magic had no fault in your mother's death. That it is not evil. That you have punished a whole race of people for one man's mistakes."

Arthur looked up, head still spinning from the new and horrifying information it was trying to process. But he had enough grip on his thoughts to speak his mind.

"I accept it was my father who was responsible for the death of my mother. I don't want to but it seems I have no choice. I know now that it was his fault. But magic played its part too. I cannot defend my father's actions but magic still killed my mother. Without it she would still be alive. And all it has ever brought to me and everyone I love has been pain and suffering. It still killed my mother, my father and my best friend. It's still evil."

"You still believe that." The sorcerer's tone was one of great sadness. "After all you have seen, after all you know, you still believe that magic is evil. Your friend, the one you are so desperately trying to bring back, has magic. Are you condemning him with all the rest? Would you execute him just as easily as you have done with countless others? Would you wish me to bring him back into this world, only to be murdered for who he is? Do you believe he is evil as well?"

"No." Arthur was confused now, too many conflicting emotions spiralling through his head. "Merlin wasn't evil. But magic is." He was trying to make sense of this new situation, trying to fit the pieces together like an impossible jigsaw. "Merlin must have just been not that powerful. He wasn't corrupted by magic like the others. He was born like that it, wasn't his fault."

An anger deeper and more furious than Arthur had ever seen before swept across the Sorcerer's face. He seemed to crackle with fury, as dangerous as lightning, and just as powerful.

"You see all but you still do not understand. Merlin was the most powerful sorcerer to have ever lived. He _was_ magic. He, like so many others have strived to use magic only for good. You still compare magic only with the sorcerer's you have seen. The ones who only mean harm to you and everyone you care about. They only seek revenge, for the murder of their families and their friends. And why should they not. But so many beings of magic only want to live in peace with the rest of the world, despite what has been done to them. Magic is like any power, it only corrupts those who are dark at heart. You cannot blame the tool for the way it is wielded."

Arthur shook his head, trying to deny the truth, the truth that was going against everything he had been raised to believe. The man standing above him looked on in despair.

"Many people have strived to show you the good of magic. Take Emrys. He has all the power of the stars in his hands, yet he chose to put up with years of work and abuse, just to try to prove to you not everyone with magic is evil. He could have crushed you, and all who fought with you and ruled the kingdom himself, as he saw fit, freeing his kind and letting them live in peace. But instead he chose to live as a shadow, in the hope that one day you would see the truth, so that both magic and non-magic beings could live together in harmony once more. Is this how you honour his memory? Is this what you truly believe? If you condemn magic, you condemn him with it."

"No, that's not what I meant!" Arthur couldn't describe the thoughts that were rushing into his head, threatening to pull him into blackness.

"Are you sure Arthur? Are you sure that had you not found out about his magic in some other way that you would not have hesitated to condemn him like so many others. That you would not have hunted him down like you did to me because of how he was born?"

"No. I wouldn't. He's my friend…"

But for the third time that day, Arthur was being sucked down into the depths crystals, with no power to stop it.

Merlin was running, sprinting through the forest, his breath coming in shaking gasps. His clothes were tattered and torn, and there was blood trickling from a number of small gashes that marred is face and arms, and more seeping out of a wound in his side. His eyes were wild and terrified, like a hunted animal that has no choice but to flee, to run and keep running, until it has either escaped or been captured.

The sound of hunting hounds bayed in the distance and Merlin's head whipped round, his eyes mad with fear. His speed increased as he zigzagged through the trees, hoping desperately to find some way of escape. But he was exhausted, and it was showing, each step becoming harder than the last, each breath becoming shorter and more desperate then the one before.

Now hooves could be heard, rapidly approaching, and the call of a hunting horn echoed in the distance. For the hunters it was no more than a game, another prize to be caught. But for the hunted it was a matter of life and death.

Merlin fell, his foot catching on a root, sending him sprawling to the ground. Desperately, he scrambled to his feet, trying to regain his footing. But the wound in his side, combined with the utter exhaustion left him scarcely able to move, let alone run. He staggered to his feet, but collapsed again after only a few more steps, exhaustion ruling his every movement.

He had failed. He had failed destiny. In a last desperate attempt, he pulled himself to his feet, knowing that if he was to face death, he would at least die with some shred of honour. The sound of hoof beats drew nearer, and the sound of the dogs intensified. The hunting horn rang out again, signalling the last moments of his life.

Merlin stood, drained and exhausted, in a clearing in the forest and watched as the hunting party burst out of the treeline and came to a staggering halt. If he wanted to he could stop them. If he wanted to, he could kill them all with a single flick of his eyes and make his escape. But what would be the point. To live his life as a hunted animal, knowing he had failed. Maybe it was better this way.

There was a sharp click as many crossbows were loaded as one, all pointing to the figure in the centre of the ring. All eyes flickered between the cornered man before them and their leader, who was gazing down with a look of deepest hatred and betrayal in his eyes.

"Are you going to kill me Arthur? Even after everything I've done for you?" Merlin's voice was almost mocking, his eyes deadened and hollow. "If I'm going to die at least let it be by your hand." He spread his arms out, as if inviting the other man to do it, challenging him to try.

In that moment the world seemed to hold its breath and the Arthur who was watching this scene was sickened by the look of pure hatred that was etched across the face of the person before him. It was him, but it wasn't. It couldn't be.

There was the sharp twang of a bolt leaving the string. Then a thud as it met its target. The last thing Arthur saw before he was dragged back into the darkness was the look of loathing that was etched into his own face.

This time when he returned to reality, he wasn't kneeling, or on all fours. He was lying on his back, gasping for air, trying to erase that last image from his brain.

"No. I wouldn't. That's not true." His breath came out in shaky gasps and his hands were trembling.

"Ah but that is the question Arthur. Would you? Why not? You would have done it had it been anyone else. What is so different about him?"

"Because he's my _friend_! He's not evil. He never could be." There was something almost inhuman creeping into Arthur's eyes. Some kind of insanity of someone who has seen too much and cannot cope with the result.

"No, he's not. But neither is the magic he would have been killed for. Do you see it now Arthur? Had you never known Merlin, had you never been his friend, you would have hunted him down without a moment's thought. It would not have made a difference to you who he was. But he took the time to know you. To prove to you magic is not evil, that those who practice it are no different from yourself and everyone you hold dear. That is the difference. It sickens you so much to think of you executing him because you know _him_. You do not judge on how he was born, but who he is. For destiny to be put right you must learn that magic can be a force for good. That was why your friend has died. If you cannot accept magic now, all will be lost."

Arthur's brain was going into overdrive, trying to process this new information. But only one thing kept taking over his head, removing all other thoughts. Merlin was magic. He had known that for some time now but the reality had never truly hit him before. Merlin was magic. And Magic was evil. But Merlin wasn't evil. And if he wasn't then that meant…

Arthur didn't feel it, but the sorcerer felt as the strands of destiny began to pull themselves back together. He had achieved what he had set out to do. Destiny was beginning to be restored. Arthur was realising the truth, that magic was not evil. He could see it in his eyes, as his instinct won in the internal struggle between what he had been taught and what he believed.

Arthur stood, grasping the wall of the cave for support. The shock of all the sudden discoveries threatened to put him back into the state of shock he had been residing in just the day before. But something kept him anchored to reality, one final vital thing that he needed to know.

"Who _are_ you?"

"That is not important Arthur. I think the question you most want to ask, is who is _he_."

Gwaine spun round and drew his sword, pointing it at the figure that was walking towards them through the darkness of the cave. But Arthur had already recognised the shape, and it brought joy and terror in equal measure. There were so many things he wanted, _needed _to say. But what came out of his mouth was a single word, breathed in a mix of surprise, horror, joy and trepidation. One word that changed everything.

"Merlin."

…

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.-Buddha 

**Ah Ha! So Merlin's back! Or is he...**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I realise there may be a lot of questions about it. Some of them will be answered in the next chapter but just ask me anything you want to know and I'll PM you the answer. Unless it's something like "what happens at the end" in which I obviously won't. So, what did you think? Just to clear things up, I haven't told you who the sorcerer is yet. I know he was using the crystal cave but he isn't Taliesin. He just borrowed his cave because he is way more powerful and he needed it to teach Arthur a lesson. **

**Speaking of the crystal cave, I know when Merlin went there it only showed the future. But in the legends it can show the past, the present and things that could have happened but didn't. So that's what I used. I also kind of feel I need to explain why Arthur was shown those visions in case anyone didn't understand. He was shown the first lot to show how his laws worsen lives, like Merlin, having to grow up without a father and always have to hide and do nothing to protect his kind. The second lot were to show Arthur why magic was outlawed in the first place and that it really wasn't magic's fault at all. The last vision was to prove that Arthur couldn't stand the thought of executing his friend, but he would have done it without thought if he had never known Merlin or if Merlin had been any other sorcerer. It showed him that he should be just as horrified at executing any sorcerer who has committed no crime as they are no different from his friend.**

**Finally, destiny has started to be fixed because it was disrupted when Arthur rejected magic and now he is accepting it, things are being put right. But is Merlin really back? You'll have to wait and find out.**

**See you next time.**

**Cloud-dee**

**P.S Can I just point out you're very lucky to get this chapter as a whole. I was seriously considering splitting it up because it's so long. Over 8,000 words! What you people do to me... **

_**M**_**- Thanks for the review. I do love your critiques and they always give me things to think about in the next chapter. About Gwaine, I'm glad you thought that was in character. I have always thought he owes everything to Merlin and out of the knights, now he's Merlin's best friend. I was really sad they didn't develop the relationship more in series 4 but they had Gwaine helping Merlin in 4x07 so that made up for it a bit.**

**As for Arthur you're so right. I guess since he's left it would be either Gwen or Leon in charge. Gwen because she's the queen or Leon because he's the most senior knight. And I think both of them would realise it's best to let Arthur go. I never thought about Arthur looking at the situation from past experience of being stopped before but it's a good idea. And you're right, it must be strange for him now to have no-one to tell him what he can and can't do. (He is definatly misunderstood ;)**

**Finally, with your answer to my question, you were REALLY close. But not quite. Hope your move goes well. And thanks again for the review.**

_**Anya**_**- Thanks! I'm really glad you like my chapter names, I have great fun thinking them up. This one gave me so much trouble and I hadn't a clue for ages, but now I think it is my best one yet. And you were right, it did take Arthur a long time to **_**get it. **_**Unfortunately, Gwaine didn't have a chance to find out, because it was Arthur's lesson to be learned. But he doesn't really have a problem with magic so that's ok. Finally, your guess was a good one, but it was wrong. Sorry you didn't find out who he was, but it will come I promise!**


	7. From Beyond The Grave

From Beyond The Grave

**I'm back ! And armed with a new chapter, so beware. And I'm not joking, this chapter is very dangerous. In fact it almost killed me writing it. I literally wrote it, re-read it and decided it was rubbish, then deleted it and started again. Twice. I had got to the point where I was considering just giving up and leaving, when I remembered all the amazing things people had said about the last chapter, and realised it would be too mean of me to just stop. So I sat back down and wrote this. And here it is. Ta da!**

**So about this chapter. There isn't really that much I can say, except some things might become clear and I finally have a scene longer than about five lines with both Arthur and Merlin in it. Which is actually a first for me. Also I haven't told you who the sorcerer is yet, but I have given you a clue. See if you can find it! So without further ado, here is the next chapter. And just to warn you, I don't know if you should be happy or sad about this one. I certainly confused myself...**

**Finally, I really didn't have much time to edit this chapter, so feel free to point out any mistakes I've made. I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can (probably Thursday) so I'll see you then.**

**Till next time...**

**Cloud-dee**

**Disclaimer- I don't own it. Nuff said.**

_Gwaine spun round and drew his sword, pointing it at the figure that was walking towards them through the darkness of the cave. But Arthur had already recognised the shape, and it brought joy and terror in equal measure. There were so many things he wanted, needed to say. But what came out of his mouth was a single word, breathed in a mix of surprise, horror, joy and trepidation. One word that changed everything._

_"Merlin."_

There was a sharp clatter as Gwaine's sword dropped from his hand onto the floor, he too recognising the figure before them. Both knights stood motionless, not able to believe what they were seeing. Merlin had died. Merlin _was_ dead. They had seen the body, had watched as it burned on the pyre in the courtyard. But here he was, standing before them as if nothing had happened.

"Hello Arthur."

It was the sound of his voice that did it. It was so bright, so cheerful, so obviously alive, that Arthur let go of all his doubts. Who cared _how_ it had happened. It just had. Merlin was here and Merlin was alive, that was all he cared about.

Arthur stepped forward, smiling for the first time in days. He stretched out his arms, embracing his friend, hugging him as if he never wanted to let go. Everything was going to be alright. But it was in that moment Arthur realised he had been wrong again. Everything wasn't alright. Something was wrong. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Because when Arthur reached out to hug the man he thought he had lost forever, his arms passed right through Merlin's form, as if his best friend was made of nothing more than a shadow.

Arthur stepped backwards, his eyes widening with shock. Merlin's form seemed to dissolve for a moment, melting back into the shadows from where it had come. But then, within seconds, it reformed again and Merlin's face changed from one of happiness to one of sadness and acceptance. The face of a man who had known this moment must come, but had wished with all his heart that it didn't.

Arthur stood, staring in shock at his best friend. Merlin looked real. Merlin looked alive. But when Arthur strained his eyes in the gloom of the cave and looked at his friend properly for the first time, he realised he had been cruelly tricked, so caught up in the joy of seeing Merlin he hadn't looked closely enough. Merlin was here, standing before him, but he wasn't quite…_there_. Like a shape shrouded in fog, when a person could stand right beside to you, but still be separated by a thin white vale. The same applied to Merlin. He was there, but he wasn't. Like a shadow in the sunlight or a silhouette behind glass. Arthur could make out every feature of his face, every familiar line that told him without question that it truly was his friend standing before him. But he could also see the way Merlin seemed to fade into the shadows surrounding him, and the way he seemed to shimmer in the eerie light given off by the crystals.

Gwaine could see it too. He had watched, amazed as Merlin had appeared in front of them. He had looked on in trepidation as Arthur had embraced his friend. And finally he had seen, in a mixture of crushing disappointment and unwanted acceptance, as Merlin had been revealed to be nothing but a shadow, haunting them with the vain possibility of ever having their friend back.

The three figures watched each other warily, each held within the moment, no-one wishing to break the silence and end all hope and doubt. It was as if a spell had been cast over them, and one which none wished to shatter. Finally it was Gwaine who spoke, his curiosity finally winning in his internal battle of what he wanted, blissful ignorance or painful knowledge.

"Merlin?" It was a question not a statement. Gwaine could see with his own two eyes that it was most definitely his friend who stood before him. But he had learned never to trust his eyes alone. He needed proof beyond all doubt that it really was his friend who was watching him, not just some illusion brought on by the magic of the place in which they were now trapped. He wasn't even sure which one he would rather it be. An illusion could be ignored, dismissed and forgotten. But if it really was Merlin and he really was here, so close that Gwaine could almost touch him, yet not truly there at all…It was hard to know which one would hurt the most.

"Gwaine." Merlin's voice was equally wary, but in a different way. He knew what was coming. He knew what he would have to say. What he would have to tell. He just wished he didn't.

"It's really you?" It was Gwaine who spoke, but Arthur who most desperately needed the answer.

"Yes."

"You're here."

"Yes."

"You're alive."

"No." A brief flicker of pain seemed to pass over Merlin's face, but it was gone almost as soon as it had come. "I died. You know that. You saw. I died. I am dead. But I'm still here."

"How?" Arthur spoke for the first time and both Merlin and Gwaine turned to look at him. He seemed torn. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things he needed to know, but this was the most pressing of all. Merlin was dead. But Merlin was here. Merlin had died, yet still he stayed. And if he was here, that meant he could come back, didn't it? Arthur's hope hadn't been in vain after all.

"Since when have I ever left you before? You'd be lost without me." A hint of the old Merlin seemed to return to the figure's shadowed face. "I died, yes. But I wasn't going to leave you. You needed to see why I died. You needed to understand. But most of all you're my friend. Both of you. So I stayed."

"Just like that?" Gwaine was confused. Merlin was admitting he had died. And in Gwaine's experience people who died tended to stay dead. Of course, the whole reason he had come on this quest was to change that. But it didn't mean he was any the wiser as to how it had happened.

"I'm a creature of magic Gwaine. You know that. But that's not all. I know Gaius told you about the druids." Here both Gwaine and Arthur looked confused and Merlin seemed amused by their lack of understanding. "You know I've always been by your side." Here he turned to Arthur, who was still looking torn between joy at seeing his friend, and the pain of what the next words might bring.

"And I told you I was happy to be your servant until the day I died. It seems I'm happy to be your servant for even longer. I died, but I never left. I was always there. Standing in the shadows,just in the corner of your eye. I heard everything. I saw everything. And believe me, I wanted to show you I was still here, to tell you everything myself. But I couldn't. Not then."

"And you can now?"

"Yes." Merlin seemed unsure, not knowing whether this was a good or bad thing. True there was so much he still wanted to say, so much he needed to tell. But for Arthur to see him again, to talk to him again, knowing that soon…

"This is the place where magic began. Magic is stronger here than anywhere else in the world. The man who brought you here told you that." At the mention of the sorcerer, both Arthur and Gwaine spun around, their eyes searching for the person who had led them here, the person who had brought this tragedy on them in the first place. But they were alone in the cavern but for the glowing crystals and the figure of their dead friend.

"That's why I can appear like this here but nowhere else." Merlin continued and the two knights turned back to look at him, unsure of what was coming next.

"But as I was saying before. You know about the druids. Gaius told you. And he also told you they have a name for me. Emrys. In the druid tongue, Emrys means immortal. I died, but that doesn't mean I left. I had the power to stay. So I did. I still had,_ have_ so much left to say. So much left to do."

"I'm so sorry." Arthur's voice cracked on the last word and it seemed all the emotions he had been suppressing were finally breaking free. "It's my fault. It's my fault that you died in the first place. Because I failed destiny. I'll never forgive myself, for not noticing, for not realising, for not saving you…"

"But I forgive _you_ Arthur." Merlin's voice was full of emotion too, but his was a very different kind. "Please, you can't keep blaming yourself. It was the only way. The only way to make you accept magic as a force for good, so my kind can live in peace again. It was the trigger, the start of the events that lead you to this place, so you could see the truth. There was nothing you could have done to change that."

"You didn't have to _die_." Arthur's voice was strained, as though this was a conversation he wanted and hated with equal measure. "I would have accepted magic anyway. I know I would. This didn't have to happen."

"Would you Arthur?" A kind of sad knowledge seemed to creep into Merlin's face, as though he already knew the answer, but didn't want to say. "Are you sure, had you not found out in another way, you would not have had a different view. The only reason you were so quick to accept magic was that it was the lesser of the two shocks you had received. Next to my death, it seemed almost unimportant. Then you came here, trying to fix it and here you discovered the truth. That magic isn't evil. And you knew enough to truly accept that at last. As I said before, it was the only way."

"No it wasn't." Arthur seemed as sure as Merlin, convinced in the truth in his words. "If I had found out, in any way, I would have accepted magic because of you. I know I would. If you'd just told me…" Here he trailed off, as if inviting his friend to explain the one last, vital thing he still didn't understand.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to." This time it was Merlin's turn to have pain reflected in his eyes and audible in his voice. "Believe me Arthur I wanted to. But you wouldn't have understood. You wouldn't have listened. Both times I finally had a chance to change your mind about magic, instead of making you see the truth, I turned you against it forever. You're my friend and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want to throw away everything I had worked for by telling you at the wrong moment. And when I tried I messed everything up. That's why I told you not to blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. It was mine."

"You could have told me though." This time, it was Gwaine speaking and Merlin turned to face him, his face troubled as if unsure of what to say. "I would have kept it a secret. I could have helped you."

"I know. And I'm sorry Gwaine." Merlin seemed genuinely unsure as to why he hadn't told his friend, as if he was trying to work it out at the same time as Gwaine. "I guess I just got so used to the idea of never being able to tell anyone that I just didn't think. And I didn't want to make you have to choose between your loyalty to Camelot and your loyalty to me. That was a mistake. But I'm sure if I had lived a little longer, I would have told you. I do trust you, you know that. I always have."

"But you don't trust me." A new, bitter tone seemed to have crept into Arthur's voice, and the atmosphere in the cave seemed to thicken with tension. "You would have told Gwaine. You did tell Gaius. You even told Lancelot. But you weren't going to tell me. I thought you said I was your friend. I don't care about you having magic, not anymore. But I do care that you didn't trust me. Even after everything you still didn't trust me."

It was the first time that any anger had been directed toward his friend since that fateful day when Arthur had found his body, lifeless on the floor. But now it seemed he had been holding back some kind of hidden bitterness, and now it was filling him up, clouding his vision and his mind. Why had Merlin never trusted him before? He would have understood. He would have accepted him. Without question. A feeling of unease, the feeling present when a lie is told to yourself, crept up into Arthur's mind, but he pushed it down angrily. He stared at his friend, waiting for an answer.

"I did trust you Arthur. With my life. But after everything that has been done to you, every wrong that has been committed to you because of magic, I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't let you think I betrayed you as well. I feared you would think me a traitor, like Morgana, and would turn your back on magic forever. So I waited. It seems I waited too long."

A silence descended on the cave and it seemed that everything, friendship, trust, destiny, rested on this moment.

"I understand. I'm sorry." All the anger, all the bitterness had left Arthur's voice and now it was just full of sadness again. "It wasn't your fault. I didn't try hard enough. You had every right not to trust me. Especially after what I did. If I'd been a better man and just looked, just seen, maybe things would have turned out differently. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. It's always been mine. And nothing you say can ever change that. But the only reason you died was because I failed destiny and rejected magic. But now that's changed."

"Arthur…" Merlin's voice was filled with warning, as if he could tell where this was new conversation was heading, and already knew the conclusion.

"But it has!" Arthur's voice was rising now, a new hope blooming within him as he realised what this could mean. "If I've accepted magic then I've restored destiny. And if I've restored destiny, the only reason you died, that means you can come back." Gwaine realised the meaning of Arthur's words, and he too felt the rising sense of hope building in his chest. It was true. Destiny had been restored. So that meant…

"No."

It was a single word, but it held more power and meaning than any other that had been spoken that day. And for the second time, Arthur felt his hopes and dreams come crashing down around him.

"Arthur, I'm dead. And there's nothing you can do to change that. Gaius told you, once someone's moved on, there's no going back."

"But you said it yourself. You haven't moved on. You're still here. You managed to stay because you're so powerful. The sorcerer told me that. You're the most powerful warlock to have ever lived so surely…"

"I'm sorry Arthur. If there was anything I could do to change this I would. But I can't come back. Not really. There are some things even I can't change. Death being one. Destiny another. The way you're seeing me now, I'm just a spirit, a shade, my soul bound to the earth by magic. My body's gone, no-one can change that." Merlin saw the look of despair creeping onto Arthur's face and hurried to finish his sentence. "But I'm not going to leave. You need me. You always have. You always will. I'll still be here.

"You mean, like you are now. I can still talk to you and see you." The spark of hope had returned to Arthur's voice. If Merlin could stay like this it wasn't too bad. He seemed almost alive, the only difference being his lack of a body. If he just stayed like this it would be as he had gotten his friend back. Nothing would have to change, except possible using Merlin for training…

"Arthur I wish I could." Merlin's voice was sincere. He didn't want to say this any more than Arthur wanted to hear it. "But I told you earlier, I can only appear like this because in this place magic is so strong. I can still watch over you, protect you out in the rest of the world, but you won't be able to see me. To hear me. It'll be like I'm a shadow. I can watch and help. But this'll be the last time you ever see me again."

"Then I'll come back." Desperation was creeping into Arthur's voice now; he could tell he was losing the battle to save his friend. "I'll come back and see you. Every day. I'll…I'll…"

Merlin smiled, but it wasn't his usual cheery, mischievous smile. It was sad, knowing there was nothing he could do to change the situation but wishing there was.

"You can't Arthur. Once you leave this place you can't ever come back. As you ride away the memory of it will become fainter and fainter, until you no longer remember where it is or how to get here. Only creatures of magic have ever entered here before. Only they can ever come back."

"There has to be a way. Some way I can save you."

Though Arthur didn't know it, the words struck Merlin straight to the heart, painfully reminding him of a time when it had been not Arthur but himself, pleading for a miracle that could never come.

"You can't Arthur. But I won't leave you. I promise. I'll still be here. I don't know, maybe you'll be able to tell, maybe you won't. But I'll be by you side, like I've always been. Protecting you. Helping you. And you can still talk to me. I'll always be listening. And who knows, maybe you'll even be able to see me, just out of the corner of your eye. But I'll always be there, remember that. Just tell everyone I'm sorry. About what happened. Tell them what I told you."

"Please. Don't say goodbye. There's so much I still need to say. So many things we haven't done yet. You can't leave!"

"Arthur, I know you'll be a great king. You'll unite Albion and bring peace to this land. You'll free magic and let my kind live in peace. You'll be the greatest king this land has ever known…"

"But that's my destiny. Gaius told me about that. He said it was my destiny to do all those things. But you were meant to help me. You were part of my destiny. How can I complete my destiny without you?"

"You won't have to. I'll still be here. In a way. And before I go Arthur, just remember one thing. I told you once before, a long time ago and it's one of the most important things anyone will ever tell you, though you seem to forget it on a regular basis. Just promise you'll do this one thing for me."

"Anything. I'll promise anything, just please don't go."

"Don't be a prat."

Merlin smiled, his achingly familiar smile, a reminder of all that they had done together, all the dangers they had faced, all the times they had shared. It reminded Arthur of how an insignificant peasant had somehow walked into his life, broken down all of his walls and wormed his way into his heart, unknowingly becoming one of the most important people Arthur knew. He reached out to grab his friend, desperately trying to prevent him from leaving, but once again Arthur's hand passed right through Merlin's arm as if he was made of nothing but shadows.

Merlin smiled, a single sad smile, then turned from his friends and walked away, back into the darkness of the cave behind him. He took only a few steps before he vanished, melting back into the shadows from which he had come, disappearing like he had never even existed at all and leaving the two knights alone in the great emptiness of the cavern.

Arthur and Gwaine both stared at the place where their friend had vanished for the final time. Then Arthur opened his mouth and spoke, with the two words losing his last, final, desperate hope of saving his friend.

"He's gone."

"No." Arthur turned, incredulously towards the knight who was standing beside him, despair written over every feature of his face. Merlin was gone. Forever. Didn't Gwaine understand that. But Gwaine wasn't looking at him. He was still staring at the place where Merlin had vanished and, unbelievably, a small smile was starting appear on the corners of his lips.

"What do you mean no? He's gone. We failed. We failed him. He's not coming back."

"No, we didn't. He's not gone." Gwaine turned to look at Arthur, and Arthur could tell he truly believed every word he was saying. "Can't you feel it?"

And through the haze of despair that was engulfing him, Arthur found he could. There was something there. Something still lingering with them in the cave. It wasn't so much a presence. It was more like a feeling. A feeling of familiarity and comfort. A feeling he had felt so many times before in his life, a feeling he always associated with one person and one person alone, the same person who had just left him forever.

They were so caught up in their thoughts, neither Arthur or Gwaine noticed the shafts of light creeping into the darkness. Though they did both jump and spin around as a great rumble shook the cave. But it was only the entrance, the great stones that had been blocking their way out crumbling away and letting the sunlight pour back in. All of the shadows seemed to retreat from the glow seeping in from the outside world, all except one, which seemed to flit towards the light, pause for a moment, then slip out into the world beyond.

Arthur didn't notice, but Gwaine saw and understood, the smile spreading wider across his face. Arthur just stood stock still, staring, unsure of what to feel. He still didn't truly understand what had happened within the last few moments of seeing his friend. But Gwaine did. He took Arthur by the arm and motioned for him to follow, dragging him out into the sunlight.

"Come on Arthur. We have to go. Everyone back in Camelot's going to be really worried, especially Gwen. And you know what she's like when she's worried."

"But what about…"

"Merlin? You heard what he said Arthur. Don't you understand? Or are you really as stupid as you look." He took in Arthur's blank expression and sighed, realising the truth in his last statement. "Don't you understand? Merlin. He's not leaving us. Even after everything that's happened, he's still sticking with you. Not even death seems to be able to stop him. He'll always be here, just like he's always been before. We've achieved what we set out to do. Don't you see it Arthur? In a way, we've brought him back."

And Arthur smiled too, finally understanding, all the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place. Merlin had always been at his side no matter what. He had promised Arthur he would never leave. And he was going to stick to that promise. He had forgiven Arthur for everything. He couldn't come back, the thought still throbbed with a dull ache inside Arthur, but he would still be here. Beside him. Always.

Together, the two knights walked out of the cave and into the light of the day. They passed through the trees and the scattered boulders, winding their way back to the place they had left their horses, what seemed like so long ago. And as they walked both of them could have sworn they saw a shadow, a flicker of an unknown something moving, following them, out of the corner of their eyes. In turn, both Arthur and Gwaine turned round to try and make out what it was. But just when they thought they had placed it, it vanished, as though it had never been there at all.

But Arthur could have sworn, just before he had looked, in the shadows of the forest beside him, he had seen a flash of black hair, and heard a single familiar laugh. And as for Gwaine, he knew for certain, that the shadow he had seen, just for a second at the edge of his vision and from the corner of his eye, the shadow that had been following them since they had left the cave for the last time, had been wearing a red neckerchief.

The ones we love never truly leave us. Not if you know where to look…- Unknown

_**This is not the end…**_


	8. The Sorcerer's Shadow

The Sorcerer's Shadow

There was a woman standing, silhouetted in one of the upstairs windows of the great castle in Camelot. Many people down below in the courtyard had noticed her, wondered what she was doing, but no-one seemed to know why she was there. They carried on with their daily business, unaware of the great upheaval within the castle walls.

The people inside the castle knew differently of course. They knew why their queen was standing silent and worried, watching over the gates for any sign of return. They knew of the events that had taken place just one morning ago, within the first light of day,that had resulted in the absence of their king. But none of them knew everything. Rumours sprang back and forth, becoming more and more distorted with each retelling, until no-one knew what to believe anymore.

There seemed to be only seven people in the whole kingdom who really knew the whole truth of what was going on. Two of them had disappeared without a trace. One of them was locked in his chambers, refusing to see anyone. Three of them were in urgent discussion with the council over the whereabouts of their leader. And one of them was standing unmoving by a window, waiting for him to come home.

Gwen watched as the people below her continued with their business as though nothing was wrong, happily living out their lives with no idea of the tragedy and trouble that had befallen them. How could they smile when one of her best friends had left her forever? How could they laugh when her love had ridden off in the middle of the night and left the kingdom without a leader? How could they continue like nothing was wrong, when nothing would ever be right again?

Gwen had watched during the night as Arthur had ridden off on his impossible mission, Gwaine by his side. She had known that he would go, and that there was nothing she could do that would stop him. But it didn't mean she missed him any less, or wished any less that he would come home.

Her heart had broken when she discovered the news about Merlin. To know everything he had done, everything they had missed, it was almost too much. But what had really killed her inside was the look on Arthur's face. She knew that however much she was hurt by this, Arthur was hurting a thousand times worse. She had been Merlin's friend yes, his close friend, and she had loved him. But he and Arthur had been inseparable and without him, Arthur just wasn't Arthur anymore.

So that was why she had just stayed by and watched her husband ride away into the night. She knew that he could never be whole again until he had forgiven himself for what he had done. The image of Merlin's face as he had left their room for the last time, Arthur's hatful words still ringing in his ears, haunted her even now. And she knew Arthur wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself until he had at least tried.

But there lay the most crucial problem of all. Arthur would try, of course he would, and maybe he would never stop trying. But he couldn't succeed. Gaius had promised her that. She would have to ignore the vain hope building in the pit of her stomach and realise her friend was never coming back. She wasn't sure if Arthur could ever accept that. She wasn't sure if she could either.

So Gwen stayed, staring out of the windows, waiting with equal amounts of hope and dread for the moment when Arthur would ride back through the gates. Of the moment when they would finally have to accept the inevitable and move on with their lives.

Gwen saw, but didn't acknowledge, the flicker of movement, seen just from the corner of her eye, in the shadows behind her. What she did acknowledge however was the two figures on horses, two very familiar figures, who came riding through the gate at full pelt and skidded to a halt in the courtyard below.

For Gaius, the hardest part was the waiting. He knew, through all the logic he possessed, that no miracle could happen this time. But while there was still time to wait, there was still time to hope. And a vain hope that could never come to pass is much worse than any amount of truth.

But still Gaius waited. He sat in his chambers and waited in his vain hope, overruled by his trusted logic for the moment when Arthur returned. Sitting here, in this place, it broke his heart. There were so many things, so many little reminders of who he had lost.

He couldn't even remember what life had been like for him, before a clumsy, good-natured and extraordinary boy had come stumbling into his rooms, so many years ago. Before that, his life had been a blur, each day just melting into the next. But that had all been changed, his life now marked out by the life of another. Gaius had watched him grow, change, become the man he was destined to be. And he had watched as he died and left forever.

He was gone, but everything Gaius saw reminded him of him. The racks of potions he had helped Gaius to make. The clothes still scattered on the floor of his room. Merlin had never really gotten the hang of the cupboard, he was much too busy clearing up after Arthur. Every little detail seemed to carry a story, contain a reminder or hold a memory.

Gaius knew he had been left to his thoughts for too long. While he had been isolated in his chambers, the rest of the castle was in upheaval. Without a king, the castle seemed to cease to function, all normal routines grinding to a halt. Gaius knew he probably should have gone to help, at least try to reason with the council. Leon and the rest of the knights were doing their best, but they were fighters, not diplomats.

The council, in Gaius' opinion, was a group of people who gave conflicting and mostly useless advice to the king, then panicked and argued when he wasn't around. Gaius held great respect for every one of the members, he just knew that they tended to create more problems than they solved. Like in this case.

Most of the council seemed to be in agreement that a search party should be sent out to find Arthur, which was one of the worst things they could do in the present situation. They were convinced the king would never have left the kingdom, like a thief sneaking off in the night, of his own accord. About half seemed to think he had been kidnapped, whilst the other half seemed to be under the impression he had been enchanted.

The servants of the castle knew differently of course. Whilst the nobles strode around the castle, making their presence felt at every turn, the servants were just a part of the background. They slipped through the castle, unnoticed and unobserved. And it's amazing how much someone can learn by being a shadow. They all knew exactly why Arthur had gone. It was common knowledge among the servants about him and Merlin.

Many had watched in amazement, astonishment or jealousy at the relationship that had unexpectedly flourished between the king and his manservant. At the beginning it had been a subject of much gossip and speculation, but over time it had grown to be just another one of the unexplainable things that existed within Camelot. The king had married a servant. Was it so hard to believe he was friends with one too? Or had been.

Merlin had been popular among the rest of the servants within the castle. In fact it would have been almost impossible for him not to be. He just gave off an aura of friendliness and companionship no-one could avoid. He was often seen to be helping others around the castle, one of the many reasons he never got his own work done. He just liked helping people, which resulted in people liking him.

Most people though he would have been fired within a week, if not for his failure to finish his work then for his constant backtalk and cheek. But they were all extremely glad when he wasn't. With Merlin, something had changed within their king. Before, he had been a great and respected warrior for the people. Now he was their friend as well. Not to mention Merlin was the only person brave enough to go anywhere near Arthur's socks.

So while the nobles of the council debated why and how Arthur could have been kidnapped and/or enchanted, the servants of the castle whispered something much closer to the truth.

Gaius knew he should have been helping with the discussions. He was a member of the council after all, and one with considerably more knowledge of the events than the rest of them. Both he and Leon, the temporary leader of the knights, had agreed that sending out a search party would be useless. When Arthur was ready, he would come home.

Gaius was jerked out of his thoughts by his door being flung open, a very out of breath servant revealed in the doorway.

"Gaius." He panted, clutching the doorframe and trying to regain his breath. "The king. He's back."

As soon as Gwen had seen the two figures come galloping through the gates, she had practically flown down the stairs and out into the courtyard, gaining some very strange looks from passing servants in the process. She knew she must look a sight. Their servant queen, complete with tangled hair, crumpled clothes and dark rings under her eyes from lack of sleep, sprinting full pelt down the castle steps towards their equally dishevelled king.

Arthur had barely dismounted from his horse before Gwen had reached him and flung her arms around his neck, almost knocking him over as she did so. She buried her face in his shoulder and gripped him as hard as she could, so relieved he had come back safely. But she couldn't resist glancing up from his shirt to see who had come in with him. For a second, her heart lifted as she thought she saw two other people standing behind Arthur, watching her. But then she blinked and it was only Gwaine, a look of mild amusement spread across his face. There was no-one else.

Gwen pulled away from Arthur and looked up into his face, not really knowing what she was expecting to see. But whatever she was expecting, it wasn't what she saw. It wasn't the fiercely determined Arthur who had ridden away from her the night before, refusing to give up. It wasn't even the broken shell he had been just the day before that. This Arthur was different from the person he had been over the last couple of days, in almost every way possible. Most noticeably of all, he was smiling.

When Gaius had heard the news of Arthur's return, he had made his was as quickly as he could to the courtyard. By the time he got there, a crowd of spectators had already formed, and he had to fight his way through the masses just to see his king. But before he had even gotten halfway there, Gwen had appeared by his side dragging Arthur behind her. She seemed to be wrestling between anger, disbelief, relief and worry, continually throwing glances back towards her husband as if concerned he would disappear if she let him go.

"Gaius." She whispered, glancing nervously around, checking no-one could hear what she had to say. In a courtyard full of people, this proved difficult so she turned back and motioned for them to make their way back into the castle.

"You have to hear what Arthur has to say."

Gwaine seemed to have tipped off all the knights about what was happening, so by the time they had reached Gaius' chambers, there was already a group assembled and waiting. Gwen pulled Arthur over into a seat, and then sat down opposite him, arms folded, a worried look spread across her face.

"Arthur, what you said to me out in the courtyard. Is it true?" She bit her lip, not knowing which answer she wanted. But Arthur wasn't looking at her. In fact he wasn't looking at any of them. Instead he was staring off into the corner of the room, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"It's true. Merlin's back. He never left. Not really."

It seemed to be almost a repeat of a conversation held just the day before, here in the physician's chambers. Again there were truths that were shocking to all. Again the words were held in almost disbelief by the listeners, who again did not make a sound throughout the whole speech. But this time, instead of Gaius telling the tale it was Arthur, with Gwaine occasionally chipping in, who explained what had happened.

It was the truth that Arthur told, but not all of it. He explained about the crystal cave and being shown visions, but here he stopped. What he had seen was too private to reveal. He knew that the things he had discovered were for him and him alone. And above everything else, he didn't want to have to retell them, to have to relive some of the worst minutes of his life, as he was bombarded by truths he didn't want to know, and visions he would rather forget.

But other than that he explained everything. When he got to the part after the visions, as he and Gwaine had seen a shadowy figure walk towards them through the cave, his breath caught in his throat and he thought for a second he wouldn't be able to continue. Merlin was back, yes, but it would never be the same. Arthur would never see him smiling or laughing again, would never hear his cheerful insults and the advice Arthur waved away but never ignored. It was all Arthur's fault. He would never forget that.

When Arthur had finally talked himself into silence, he glanced up to see the reactions of the people before him. Looks of shock, disbelief and an oppressing silence greeted him. Nobody knew what to think. If it had been just Arthur talking they would assume he had snapped like Uther had, been too hurt and betrayed, finally losing his mind. But Gwaine was telling exactly the same story in exactly the same serious and honest tones as Arthur. So unless they both had gone crazy, which was highly unlikely, then they must be telling the truth.

Inside every person in the room, an internal battle was raging. The logic, the facts, the fundamental laws of the world as they knew it was battling with the hope and the inexplicable truth of the words that had been said. Each and every person knew, how they did not understand but they knew, that every word that had been spoken was the absolute truth. It was as simple as that.

"When you say he's still here…" Gwen was the first to speak, needing to ask the questions that were threatening to burst from inside her. "Do you mean…"

"He's here. In fact he's here now. You can tell. You can feel it. If you know where to look." Arthur's eyes flickered again over to the corner of the room and all eyes followed his. But the space behind them was empty but for shadows.

Once Gwen had broken the silence, the questions poured out, everyone wanting to know and understand. Arthur and Gwaine answered as best they could, but it all came back to one thing and one thing alone. Merlin was dead. But he was far from gone.

They talked well through the day and into the evening, until the shadows of dusk began to creep through the windows and darken the room. Only then did they rise and make their way off to their separate chambers, thinking of all the things they had been told and what new challenges the morning would bring.

And now that they knew where to look, they all saw the figure, standing half concealed in the shadows, just out of the corner of their eye.

Gwen had various duties she needed to attend to before she could make her way to bed, so it was several more hours before she entered her and Arthur's chambers. And when she did, she almost slipped back out again. Arthur was sitting on his bed, staring into the shadows and talking to the air around him.

"I don't know what's going to happen next. I've never really known how to be a king. I've been taught but still, it doesn't really prepare you. And now I've found out I've got this great destiny as well…It scares me. It seems like now I don't just have to live up to the people's expectations but I have to live up to destiny's too. But I guess you've known about it for a while and you never got scared. I always teased you about being a coward but really, you're one of the bravest men I know. I…"

It was then he noticed Gwen and smiled, motioning for her to come in. She walked awkwardly over, feeling like she was interrupting some private moment that she had no right to hear. Arthur had always confided in her of course, but his most private worries and his deepest fears were only ever told to one person.

Gwen sat down on the bed and gazed at her husband. He looked sad, a sadness that seemed to run through his eyes and into his soul, but there was hope in there too. Gwen bit her lip, wondering what she should say. In the end, all that came out of her mouth was the one thought that wouldn't leave her head.

"I miss him Arthur. I miss Merlin."

Arthur smiled, but this time it was less sad and more hopeful. His eyes once again flickered to the corner of the room, where the darkness was creeping through the windows, held back only by the light of the candles. Gwen knew if she turned to look that nothing would be there, that she wouldn't see anything in the shadows behind her. But whilst her back was turned, when she focused not with her eyes but with her heart, she could feel it. She could feel him.

"I miss him too. I'll never stop missing him. Every minute of every day. And knowing it was my fault…That'll never stop hurting. But at least he's not gone. He promised he would never leave and he doesn't break his promises. He's always going to be here when we need him, helping us. And he'll always be listening. We don't have to miss him Gwen because he's not gone. It's not the end. It's only just the beginning.

And there was someone smiling in the shadows.

**AN- And there it is. I realise not much happens in this chapter but I wanted to explore what had been happening back at Camelot while Arthur was away and what happens when he returns. Also, I needed to start bringing the story to a close. Because this is the second last chapter. The last chapter will be the epilogue and then this story will be over forever. **_**But **_**I loved writing this story so much I have decided to write a sequel, taking place after this chapter and during the epilogue. I can't say much about it now because I still need to write the epilogue, but I am really excited about it. So don't give up on me just yet!**

**The epilogue is going to be really important and will answer all the questions that haven't been answered yet, including who the "sorcerer" is. I was originally going to put it in this chapter but it didn't really fit, so it'll have to wait till the end. Also it will wrap up the whole story and explain what happened afterwards.**

**So what did you think about this chapter? It was really was interesting for me to write because it was from a perspective I have never written from before. And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. You're the reason I decided to write a sequel to this story, because you inspired me so much. And just out of curiosity, how many people would like to see a sequel? Just so I know if there is any interest.**

**Finally, I realised I didn't reply to any of the unsigned reviews last chapter and I'm really sorry about that. I was in a hurry to post and I just forgot. So I apologise and below are all the replies to the ones for this chapter.**

**Thanks again to everyone who's still reading this story. You've been amazing and you're the reason this story has gotten this far. And it isn't over yet...**

**Cloud-dee**

**P.S The next update will probably be around Sunday. See you then ;)**

_**magicalmyths27**_**- Thanks! I'm so pleased you liked it and I'm glad it made you cry (if that makes sense). You saying I have skill was such an amazing thing to say. So thank you!**

_**DarkMoonChie**_**- Was this soon enough for you? ;) I'm so glad that you're enjoying my story and I'll put the next chapter up as soon as I can.**

_**ilovethestories**_**- Thank you! That means a lot to me.**

_**NBKitty**_**- Sorry I made you cry! But thank you for being so nice about my story. And I hope this chapter is less sad (Unless you want it to be sad in which case I hope it is)**

_**Pagen Godess**_**- Thanks! And I hope you don't mind the next story after this one will be a sequel. But I do have lots of other things planned...**


	9. The Epilogue

The Epilogue

**AN-Wow. I can't believe it's finally over. It's been such fun. So before you read this chapter I would like to say thank you so much. To everyone. You have all been so amazing and inspiring and I love you all for it. So thank you. I couldn't have done it without you. **

**As for the sequel to this story, it will be a little different. I had so many ideas for what to write, but none of them came together into a full length story. So what I have decided to do is write the sequel as a collection of related one-shots about life in Camelot after the last chapter and taking place during the epilogue. It gives me a much wider range of ideas to work with and I can fit loads of different stories into one. **

**So finally, thanks again to everyone who has supported me throughout all of this. You've been great. And I would love to hear from you one last time to tell me what you think of the last chapter and the story overall. I hope to see you next Sunday when I post the sequel. But until then, goodbye. And thank you.**

**Cloud-dee**

So in the end, Arthur saved destiny. He grew into the king he had been destined to be, uniting the land of Albion and bringing peace in his time. He was known forever as the greatest king the land had ever known, or would ever know again. He ruled, with Gwen as queen by his side, for many years bringing peace and prosperity to the kingdom.

And Arthur freed magic. To many it was a shock, a betrayal of the deepest kind from a king they thought they could trust. As for the folk of magic, they believed it to be a trap, a plan to lure them out into the open and slaughter them all. But as first the druids, then other creatures of magic began to come forward and show themselves to the world that belief was lessened. Then finally, when Arthur executed a bounty hunter and freed his victim instead of the other way around, the belief was crushed altogether.

Though it took many years of mistrust and conflict, the people of magic and the citizens of Albion learned to live side by side in harmony. Following their king's example, the people learned to trust magic, and the magical folk learned to use their power for good. There were still laws of course, but they were fair and just, just like the king who had created them.

There were of course, those who did not see the good in the kingdom Arthur had created. There were those who sought to destroy it, see it burn in the fires of war and the great city of Camelot razed to the ground. But they never succeeded. Arthur and his knights fought many a hard battle and at times it seemed everything would be lost, but they always managed to pull through.

And as for the witch Morgana, no matter how hard she tried to take Camelot and Albion for her own, she was always thwarted, and not just by Arthur. Even when she was on the brink of complete victory, still she would fall, her plans in ruins, defeated by an unknown stranger.

Morgana was haunted by visions of her greatest enemy, and though she never saw him again, she feared him still. She believed he followed her wherever she went and that he would haunt her until the day she died. An invisible foe who could never be seen and could never be defeated. And the witch who had forever turned from the path of light, refused to ever step into the shadows.

For Arthur, it seemed his impossible good luck continued with him till the day he died. Every quest, every fight, every war, even when all hope seemed lost, Arthur always won. Even when a victory was impossible and doom was inevitable, a miracle would happen and they would be saved. Many gave their thanks and congratulations to Arthur but he denied all credit. No-one but a few ever knew why.

And strange things still seemed to happen in Camelot. In a city of magic that was only to be expected but some things could not be explained even by that. For even in the coldest winter, the poor seemed to have warmth. Even in the hardest famine, the people still found food. The peasants called it their Guardian Angel. Arthur called it Merlin.

And that was another strange thing. Sometimes a servant would walk in on Arthur, and not just him, sometimes Gwen or Gaius or the knights too, just talking, simply to thin air. It was most strange, but when the servants told their tale to the others working in the castle they were shushed and told not to speak of it again. But in a city like Camelot, secrets are hard to be kept that way, and someone was always found who would explain to the baffled person about the servant who had turned out to be so much more. The boy who was the saviour of Albion and who remained here still, protecting them from beyond the grave. But of course, those were just stories.

Arthur continued to rule over Albion, with his trusted knights, his beautiful queen and his best friend by his side. And somewhere far away a man called Destiny, the same man Arthur had seen on that fateful day in the forest, sat watching his creation. And he smiled. For all his plans had been righted again and the paths he had set his people on were being followed once more. Destiny always plans. Destiny always knows. Destiny always wins. And Destiny watched as his two favourite humans played out the parts he had written for them so long ago, bringing about the time of peace and Albion. He could feel the magic returning to the land and the balance of nature being restored. Destiny had succeeded.

Arthur had done what he had been born to do. He had united Albion and brought magic back to the land. But he couldn't have done it alone. Arthur was just one side of a coin. He was not the only savoir of Albion. There was another, one who faded into old memories and stories, which over time would grow to become folklore and legend. The story of the greatest warlock who would ever live, saving Arthur and the rest of Albion till the day Arthur died. Merlin, Myrddin, Emrys. He had many names to many people. But Arthur just called him his best friend.

And Merlin watched over Arthur till the day Arthur fought his final battle, saving Arthur from the shadows, protecting Albion as he always had done. Because Merlin saved destiny too. Just not quite in the way he had thought. And on the day Arthur died he was there, waiting. When Arthur drew his final breath, his eyes closing for the last time, Merlin was there to meet him. And together, reunited at last, the two friends departed this life and moved on into the eternal land of Avalon.

Albion was a great and noble country, Camelot its pride and joy, a city glowing with power and magic. All who passed through remembered its glory and its name was forever branded on the pages of history, as was the name of its great King. Arthur ruled as a fair and just king for the rest of his days. He had been forever changed by his friend, and his kindness to the people, no matter who they were or where they came from, was legend throughout the land. So Merlin had served his purpose. He had turned Arthur into the king he was destined to be and had watched over him until the day Arthur had departed this life and was ready to join him again.

Arthur had saved destiny. He had united Albion. He had freed magic. He had brought peace in his time and become the king of legend.

He never had another servant.

The End


	10. Author's Note

**AN- This is just a quick Author's note to tell you all that the sequel to this story has just been published. It's called The Sorcerer's Shadow and I hope you all enjoy reading it just as much as I did writing it!**

**Thanks for sticking with me and I hope to see you all soon.**

**Cloud-dee**


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